a.k.a. Things Over-heard at ...
all lines guaranteed actual quotations (no names are used, to protect the innocent and the guilty)

Telephone Bar
149 Second Ave. (between 9th & 10th St.)

Man#1: Why don't one of you lame-asses talk to that hottie over there?
Man#2: I'm too drunk.
Man#3: I'm too sober.

The Globe
373 Park Ave. South (between 26th & 27th St.)

Man: "...I want a coffee, desert, and a blowjob."
Waiter: "I don't think I can help you with that last one."
Man at the bar: "Was he asking for the drink, or did he really just want to get blown?"

Bull Head Tavern
295 Third Ave. (between 22nd & 23rd St.)

Young Woman: (Elated that she just sunk the eight ball in her first game of pool)
Man: "Do you want to break?"
Young Woman: "No, I want to keep playing!"

Brother Jimmy's
428 Amsterdam Ave. (between 80th & 81st St.)

Man #1: "...she's thinking of getting a breast reduction..."
Man # 2: "What a waste. She should get a breast transplant. That way, someone who needs breasts can get them, too."