MurphGuide Sports

previous Locker Room Chatter columns
by Peter Murphy

MurphGuide
Sports Archives

Locker Room Chatter
with Peter Murphy
That’s A Rap February 12, 2005
Snowbound January 24, 2005
The Longest Year December 21, 2004
Reader Survey November 19, 2004
#!@%&*! (Curses) October 28, 2004
Regular Season Wrap-Up October 4, 2004
Pennant Push September 20, 2004
Dog Dayz August 23, 2004
The Readers Strike Back July 9, 2004
The June Swoon June 6, 2004
April Showers April 26, 2004
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year March 19, 2004
Winter Potpourri February 20, 2004
Mid Winter Night's Musings January 20, 2004
Another Year Wiser December 29, 2003
Mid-Indian Summer Musings November 29, 2003
Baseball Playoffs Oct. 26, 2003
Baseball Regular Season Wrapup Sept. 29, 2003
How to win a World Series Sept. 2, 2003
Mid-Summer Musings July 25, 2003
What's Luck Got to Do With It? June 30, 2003
Spring Musings May 5, 2003
Baseball Season Preview and Predictions April 1, 2003
March Anger, and other End-of-Winter Musings March 18, 2003
That's a Wrap January 28, 2003
Book and Movie Review: "The Boyz -N- the Junction" December 8, 2002
NBA Preview: Champions No More October 30, 2002
Major League Baseball Individual Awards September 30, 2002
Major League Baseball Playoffs September 13, 2002
College Football August 23, 2002
Baseball's Labor Woes August 8, 2002
Mid-year Musings July 22, 2002

That’s A Rap
by Peter Murphy
February 12, 2005
Another NFL season has ended predictably, with yet another AFC victory. That’s 6 out of 8 years. The AFC is dominating this century like it did during the hey-day of the NFL, back in the 1970s. The 70s featured some of the most dominant teams, and some legendary coaches and quarterbacks. How many of today’s league participants can match up with the likes of Noll, Grant, Shula, Landry and Madden? Or with Hall of Famers Bradshaw, Tarkenton, Staubach, Stabler, and Griese. (Yes, Griese is in the Hall).

This reminiscing is probably awakening you to an interesting notion, and I agree fully with what you are now thinking. What’s all this crap about it’s tougher now to put together a run of championship seasons in the NFL than it used to be? I know that’s what they claim the salary cap has done, but is it really true? In the 1970s, the Steelers won back-to-back twice, and the Dolphins also turned a double play. These teams had to fight their way through the Raiders (5 straight AFC championship games), Vikings (4 Super Bowl appearances in 8 years) and Cowboys (who made the playoffs in 16 out of 17 years at one point, and played in 5 Super Bowls and 6 more NFC championship games between 1966 and 1982).

In contrast, today’s typical back-to-back winners (Denver, New England) are fighting their way through Bill Cowher (Hall of Fame tactician?), Marty Schottenchoker, and Herm Edwards? When the Patriots win, their opponents (McNabb, Manning, Roethlisberger) are belittled. I don’t recall (because I wasn’t born yet) people picking on Snake or Tarkenton or Staubach every time their team came up short in the post-season. Bud Grant and Marv Levy are in the Hall of Fame and never won anything. What contemporary coach will even sniff the hall without winning the Lombardi prize?

Speaking of the Marv Levy era, how about the Bill Walsh 49ers (won 3 out of 6 yrs, or 4 in 9), or the Switzer-Johnson Cowboys (3 in 4). They had quite impressive championship credentials despite having to battle other powerhouses. From 1981 to 1995, just 4 teams won 13 of the 15 Super Bowls. The 49ers run was in the midst of strong competition from the Giants and Redskins, both multiple Super Bowl winners. A solo winner but also a power house was the Chicago Bears of the mid-1980s. Dallas had to perennially fight off the 49ers or Packers, and then the Bills to get their rings.

Alright already, I agree with what you’re thinking. It is silly that this notion of impossibility of dominance in the cap era has gone unchallenged.

And let’s not pretend that the current title holders are doing magic with the salary cap. Let’s face it, they got lucky with a winning QB in the sixth round, which saves them substantial cash vs. a blue-chipper, and but for Ty Law (who is about to get the Lawyer Milloy/Terry Glenn treatment), several other big name Pats are taking a discount to play for the Belichicks. The organization and staff has parlayed a lucky tuck into a championship run by getting players to take less money than other teams have to pay. When the run is all over with, the Patriots era (all of three playoff seasons out of four) will be not be remembered as a great era in football, and their championships will be forgotten.

SUPER BOWL x v v v v v iiii
(That’s 39 in Arabic numerals).

Neither team played their best, but the Pats turned in their patented keep-it-close and then execute on offense in the mid-to-late 2nd half, and leave your opponent in the dust. Belichick and staff yet again correctly guess which part of their opponents offense to shut down (i.e., dare them to beat them one-dimensionally). I guess that means the Patriots respect Manning, don’t respect Roethlisrookie, and only respect McNabb’s running ability.
The key match-up difference was surprisingly Brady vs. McNabb. Brady had his typical cool performance (although another Red Zone turnover, I’m starting to have my doubts about that whole Montana-Brady comparison), but unless McNabb wins the Super Bowl some time soon, this loss will be his signature game. As well as the Patriots played on defense, McNabb still made too many unforced errors. Barring that, the Eagles may have brought home a championship to loser-town. I guess Rush Limbaugh was right about McNabb (as he usually is, about everything) when he said whatever it was he said that was misinterpreted and completely blown out of proportion.
Terrell Owens. Yet again, the biased media can’t see their own pettiness. I’m assuming none of us have ever had the injury TO had, and certainly never had were in as good shape or had the will to rehab himself. Yet, the word of the Doctor was believed over that of a “grandstander”. Then they admit that because he’s a dick half the time, they won’t give him the benefit of the doubt. But if it were someone like Wayne Chrebet running out there on one bad hoof, they’d canonize the guy (except that he’s already been canonized for not being drafted, yet still having a decent career). Wasn’t anyone listening during the John Abraham crisis a month ago? Then, the media seemed to think he should be playing, again, without knowing how his legs really felt.
Speaking of selfish? Tedy Bruschi takes a huge discount to tie himself to the Patriots for 4 years. Not that he’s in the poor house (do they even have poor houses anymore?), but isn’t it somewhat selfish to take less money so he can basically hang out with his friends? Is he putting himself before his family? Maybe Lawyer Milloy was right, you can’t feed your family with Super Bowl rings. (Although Milloy conveniently doesn’t mention that he already has a ring). Of course he’s right, especially if they eat as much as say, Latrell Sprewell’s evidently insatiable family.

Notre Dame in the news

Notre Dame has come to the rescue (of everyone) yet again, beating the team that no one else can beat (this time, soon to be ACC cellar dwellers, Boston College). This hero complex started back in the 1950s, when the Irish beat Bud Wilkinson’s “The Undefeated” after a 47 game run. ND also beat the heretofore-unbeatable Miami Hurricanes of the late 80s and the 1993 FSU Seminoles when everyone else was afraid to.

Digger Phelps turned the trick many a time, most memorably upsetting UCLA after 88 wins (in fact, ND wins were the bread of the 88 win sandwich), but also downing San Francisco (29-0 in 1977) and later DePaul with future bad-boy Mark Aguirre. The Lady Irish (the Coleens?) also got into the act, downing UNC at soccer, snapping the Tar Heelettes 31 game win streak (and 9 year NCAA championship streak).

In other ND news: Notre Dame’s new football coach takes over (depriving the New England Patriots of its offensive genius), just as USC loses it’s offensive genius to the NFL.

USC and Notre Dame. Two teams headed in different directions? Stay tuned.

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Snowbound
by Peter Murphy
January 24, 2005

Well, it’s the middle of winter, and a major storm is hitting the Springfield region in the state that I live in. So I might at well put the time to good use.

Hot Stove League

Omar Minaya is on his way to becoming the Red Auerbach of the 21^st century. He has taken over the same team that Jim Duquette led to nowhere, and without adding anything, he has magically made the Mets into contenders. Actually, my intern misinterpreted my notes here. I said he added “000”, which she interpreted as “nothing”. Okay, maybe he had some help from his flip-flopping owner, who has decided to spend money again after a one-year retreat.
I was wrong when I said the Yankees are ruining baseball. I meant, the Red Sox, Mets and Yankees are ruining baseball.
I’m sticking with my Omar Minaya-Red Auerbach comments. Red Auerbach, you see, like Minaya played some college ball, and later became a general manager in the same sport. That’s what I was talking about.

NFL Playoffs

Wild Card Round

I’m tired of Favre’s popularity getting in the way of objective reporting by the mainstream media. To be fair and balanced, Favre has had three woeful playoff exits in the last 4 years, including a 6-pick and a 4-pick affair, and an O.T. pick on a ball that should have been thrown away. Can you imagine if any other quarterback had played so poorly, say, Pennington, or Hasselback, or Manning. What’s worse, the real story of the Vikes-Pack game should have been the end of the Lambeau myth, and the emergence of Daunte Culpepper as a star in the playoffs. Maybe Daunte should be doing some crowd-mooning just to get some attention.
The Colts defense is suspect. Tony Dungy can’t win the big one. Yet, somehow, unless Peyton Manning can win 2 road games and get to the Super Bowl, he’s a failure, just another Marino or Archie Manning. Super Bowl champion QB’s Trent Dilfer and Mark Rypien must be rolling in their graves with laughter. (Trent Dilfer is DEAD?). Again, let’s be fair. Manning had a stud season, two years in a row. Football is still a team game. How many teams in the league wouldn’t trade their guy for him? Probably all but two or three.
Ironic parallel to the Jet Linebacker’s mental meltdown. In 1986 playoffs, Gastineau’s late hit on Kosar in the 4^th quarter allows Browns to force O.T. In the O.T., the last straight-ahead kicker, Mark Moseley, missed a chip shot winner, giving the Jets new life, which they squandered. Further irony: The Jets opponent was coached by Marty Shottenheimer. Maybe that’s what Marty was trying with the Chargers. Get the missed FG out of the way, and win the game in the 2^nd OT. Even more irony: The winner of the “Jet-late hit-OT-Shottenheimer chip shot miss game” would lose the next week in OT in heartbreaking fashion. Yes, the 1986 Browns lost in OT vs. Denver, following Elway’s famous Drive. Final ironic parallel. The 1986 Jets also were accused of backing into the playoffs, but in 1986, they were 10-1 before losing the final 5, a record for playoff qualifiers that will never be equaled. Both times, the Jets won the opening round game and lost the 2^nd time in OT.

Division and Championship rounds.

Belichick has become a great motivator, while retaining his skill as a defensive game planner. Teams have their worst offensive outings when they play his teams. Colts passing, and then Steelers rushing were alleged to give their teams the edge, but nothing came of them.
I’ve been saying this for over a month, and now more will agree. Eli Manning will surpass Roethlisberger as the QB of the 2004 draft by 2006 (if not sooner). But to be kind to Ben, he’s already accomplished what some Hall of Fame caliber quarterbacks have done. He’s had 2 bad playoff games, putting him only 1 behind Brett Favre, and 3 behind Jim Kelly. Go Ben!!!
How come when Roethlisberger throws a pick over the middle in the Red Zone (in 2 consecutive playoff games) none of the other 10 Steelers bothers to lift a finger to make a tackle. Or, if you can’t make a tackle, at least try to get on TV by appearing in the shot of the interceptor prancing down the field. Who is the Steelers assistant coach that is responsible for teaching the offensive how to pursue and tackle? If the don’t have one, they are going to need one the way Roethlisberger is going.
Donovan McNabb in the Super Bowl: The win over the Falcons was so boring, I won’t bother commenting. But it’s safe to say that progress on two fronts has ended my claim that McNabb is overrated. First, he was overrated. There was a time when the sports media said no one was more important to their team than McNabb. That’s because they were too lazy to see how talented the rest of the team was. Then, McNabb was injured, and the Eagles were like 7-1 in his absence. On the second front, McNabb stepped it up a bit, and proved he could control the game in a big spot. Somehow, the perennial finalists couldn’t win without Terrel Owens. Rubbish, says McNabb. And now McNabb’s Eagles have a shot to be defeated by the Patriots.

NBA

How come no one talks about the Lebron James-Carmelo Anthony rivalry anymore? I thought their rivalry had staying power, kind of like Dan and Dave in the 1992 decathlon, or Spain and Portugal in the race to colonize the western hemisphere.
The Nets, at 17 and 28, have made their move to takeover the Atlantic division. Just 4 games out heading toward the all-star break, they are ripe for another championship run. Adding Vince Carter to the mix will be the difference, as he joins the core unit of Kidd, Jefferson, Kenyon Martin, and Alonzo Mourning. After knocking on the door for a few years, the Byron Scott-five are making people forget about the Dr. J years out in Netville.

NHL

Even though I have no proof whatsoever, now that John Ashcroft is out as Attorney General, I feel it’s safe to disclose my suspicions that the NHL lockout was orchestrated by the Bush administration as a way to punish Canada for not letting the US Air Force to use Canadian airspace during the Iraq war.

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The Longest Year
by Peter Murphy
December 21, 2004

The title of this article is a twist on “The Longest Yard” the classic football flick starring Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, that-bald-guy-who-always-plays-a-bad-guy, and the doofy guy from F-Troop. Or for those of us who are still of an age when their auto insurance is more expensive than their life insurance, it’s a twist on the coming-to-theaters-soon remake, starring Adam Sandler (very believable as a guy doing hard time), and featuring budding Hollywood starlet Corrinne Saffell, of “Lingerie Bowl 2” fame. But my real intention is to describe 2004, a year in sports that seemed like it was at least 24 hours longer than any year since 2000.

But . . . rather than recap the year, recent events across the sports world have provided plenty of commentary fodder. Besides, recapping a whole year wouldn’t be as fun as in last year, when you could sneak in a reference to Trey Junkin’s short snapping heroics of January 2003, right about when people were beginning to forget.

NBA

The Nets: Yeah, Vince Carter is the answer. This guy is all talk and hype. This is the guy who went to college graduation on the day of an NBA playoff final, yet still claimed he was totally devoted to winning. Same guy who, while sulking as a Raptor, supposedly tipped off opposing teams to what plays the Raptors would run. Vince makes Scottie Pippen look like . . . . . uh . . . (insert name of someone who is a better person than Scottie Pippen. There were too many names for me to choose only one). Do the Nets think Jason Kidd will suddenly start playing with the heart he showed for all of 2 of his 11 NBA seasons? With the Nets, it comes down to character. Kidd has shown throughout his career, that he has little of this precious commodity. And this goes way beyond the wife slapping. He wanted the cap-busting contract, and tried to dictate who would be the coach and forced the Nets to overpay for Mourning. The Nets ownership, old and new, should have known better. They hitched their fortunes to this bad character. They had a nice 2 year run. Never again.
The Artest incident: Can you imagine what would happen to a non-sports employer if he allowed the harassment and often racial taunts that are common in NBA arenas to afflict his workers? The owners need to adopt a zero-tolerance policy for fans. Put it in small print on the back of the ticket. Spend some dough on bouncers that sit court-side, or even better, have Kobe Bryant become a season ticket holder so he can rat on his fellow fans as to who is behaving badly.
And speaking of the character-deficient: Good old Kobe, you never let me down. Ratting out Shaq when you were being interrogated by the cops is one thing. Letting the world know that the Mailman made a pass at your wife is icing on the cake. Kobe could work for the CIA, he’s so good at code breaking. I can’t believe anyone wants to be on his team since he’s so Me-Me-Me on AND off the court. Maybe Kobe just doesn’t understand why anyone would ever make a pass, to anyone.

NFL

Quarterback commentary:

I can’t wait until Ben Roethlisberger comes back to earth. But will it be this year, or next. My gut tells me that, if the Colts don’t knock out the Steelers first, Bill Belichick will devise some scheme that will confound this rookie, who is already showing signs of inexperience.
With each loss, the 1^st round pick in the 2005 draft the Giants owe the Chargers for Manning is getting more expensive.
I’m getting tired of watching all those ubiquitous Philip Rivers commercials? He hasn’t even won a championship yet.
And just when you thought the NFL wasn’t fixed. Tom Brady and the Patriots completely melt down on Monday night. This was clearly a ratings ploy for Monday night football. Brady has taken a huge step back this season. Now, he’s only AS good as Joe Montana.
Kudos to Chad Pennington for honestly and respectively taking on the media. Now don’t think I’m just dissin’ the print media because of how they sneer at us internet reporters as if we didn’t have a right to crowd them at the post-game buffet. They write what they want, but never have the guts to have a Feedback button right in the newspaper. Chad’s right about this being a privilege. How else would a backup wide receiver/cornerback on a junior high football team get to see the last 6 Super Bowls up close, and for free.

NHLzzzzzzz

Players offer to roll back salaries by 25%. The owners rejected it. Are the owners freakin’ crazy? Actually, No. The players offer was an act of desperation, and the owners have the players on the run. This desperation will increase as time goes by. The owners were ready to blow off the whole year to begin with, so why stop now. By summer, after the season is cancelled, the owners will get a great deal, probably a salary cap, although some lasting fan-damage will be done.

Baseball

Pedro to Mets: This deal is dicey, because if he gets hurt or sucks by mid-way through the deal, the flip-flopping Mets management are apt to let the next A-Rod or Vlad go by because they are afraid of getting burned on an expensive long term deal with someone like Mo Vaughan or Pedro. But, maybe the Mets must pay extra to get stars to come here, and this is the first link in the championship chain. To me, the deal is all about performance. If he turns out to be another Tom Glavine, it’s a bust. If he wins 60% of his games, and at least 55 over the life of the deal, then it’s worth it. Don’t worry about his antics, the BoSox survived just fine. They won a World Series, AFTER COMING BACK FROM A 3 GAMES TO NONE DEFICIT AGAINST THE YANKEES, INCLUDING GAMES 6 AND 7 AT YANKEE STADIUM.
Yankees-Red Sox $alary wars: Carl Pavano, Matt Clement? Did the GMs confuse these guys with Pedro and Clemens, cause their names are similar.
Randy Johnson: He wants a two-year extension at 41 years old? Who does he think he is, Clemens? Forget that big unit, I’d be more worried about that big left arm of his.
Washington DC reneges on commitment to be robbed by MLB: Lets look at the evidence. Mayor Williams is quoted as saying: “It’s not like baseball was banging down our door, we have to overpay for a team”. Yes. That’s right, but the reason they weren’t banging was that a successful franchise in DC is not a sure thing. He also said: “We can’t let another 30 years go by without realizing our dream.” Oh yeah, that reminds me. Baseball failed here once before. Oh wait, make that twice before. DC baseball has a tradition of failure, and is going for the triple crown of failure. That’s fitting, since it can hit for the cycle of failure as a city, by having 4 inadequate failed franchises in the city (Wizards in hoop, Capitals in hockey, and Red Storm in football)
Steroids: Let’s see the Yankees walk the walk here with Giambi. See if the franchise has the guts I was hoping they would have the guts to dock Kevin Brown 3 weeks pay when he intentionally injured himself beating up a wall in the dugout. Too bad Brown didn’t use his pitching hand, which would have allowed Javy Vasquez to start game 7 of the ALCS, and maybe give up three HRs to Jesus Damon. Now, with Giambi, they have to strip him of his pinstripes. If he plays for the Yankees, and hits a game winning HR, are fans gonna give him that big standing O? It’s not like if you comeback after an illness, or comeback from drug rehab, or survive having non-consensual sex in a hotel and the resulting court cases. It’s not like you knifed 2 guys to death outside the Super Bowl and then rat on your buddies, or killing your ex-wife and some waiter who happened to be there. No, this is cheating. It’s un-Yankee, if you believe that stuff the Yankees try to spoon feed you with a shovel.
As for Bonds, this will be interesting to see his assault on Ruth and Aaron’s records, where he will no longer be cheered and admired, at least in road games.

NCAA

Louisville-Idaho: Over under of 82? Sounds more like an NBA game. Well, at least back in the run 'n gun years of the NBA.
The BCS: Refer to my comments from last December, and the one before that. It was more fun last year when at least you could taunt the team left out of the championship (USC) for having lost a game. This year, you almost root against Auburn in whatever bowl they’re in so that you don’t have to hear them cry about it. Or you could root for Auburn in the hopes that the system’s flaws will hasten the demise of the BCS.
The Heisman: Is there a rule that says a Freshman can’t win if his stats aren’t vastly superior to about 3 other guys on teams that depend on them more than the stud Frosh?

Joe Paterno
There are 2 arguments. Either, (1) He deserves to go out on his own terms, or, (2) The athletic department/The University should be able to remove him if it feels it would improve the program. Almost 100% of people everywhere is in the second camp, ie, Paterno does NOT deserve to go out on his own terms. 100% seems high, but let me explain:

Penn State has sucked for about 5 years. Every year, more people feel that Paterno should be shown the door (degree of delicacy in doing this varies). For those who “say” let him leave on his own terms, consider this: If Paterno is still there in say, 10 years, without going to a bowl or contending, would you remove him? How about 15 or 20 years, or if he lives long enough, 30 years, with limited success? At some point, everyone would agree to whack him. This shows that people don’t really believe he should go out on his own terms, they feel it’s up to the school. The only variation is whether 3 years, or the current 5 years, or some other number of years is enough of disappointment.

The solution: (which should have happened a year ago). The A.D. says, “Look, you can coach 1 more year. Either you announce that now or during next season, and enjoy all the accolades, or, at the end of year, you will be fired, the school and me as Athletic Director, will take some heat, and likely get some kudos from well-heeled alumni who are sick of failure. But you will be humiliated to some degree by going out kicking, screaming, and losing. The championships and undefeated non-championship seasons will be somewhat forgotten, and the enduring memory will be of the ending ugliness. Your choice, Jo Pa.”

Notre Dame Football
Hell OHHHHHHHHHHH. The last 2 times Notre Dame hired a football coach, they got their 3^rd or 4^th choice (or higher). Don’t they learn from their mistakes? ND didn’t want to look like Auburn, by hiring a coach before they fired the existing coach, i.e, they didn’t want to look bad. Well they ended up looking bad anyway, and they didn’t get the hot new coach they wanted, Urban Meyer from Utah.

A word to the Weis: Just Win baby! Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. That’s the real motto for Irish football. He may have to be a genius, or cheat to make it come true. But that raises 2 important points. First, ND should lower their FOOTBALL standards. The way their rigid academic requirements are, they should compete with Stanford, Northwestern, and Boston College, not with Miami, Fla. State, Alabama, Oklahoma, Michigan or USC. Second, they should compete with Miami, Fla. State, Alabama, Oklahoma, Michigan and USC and lower their rigid ACADEMIC standards. Let’s face it. How long is NBC and the Irish’s well-heeled subway alumni going to put up with this crap.

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Reader Survey
by Peter Murphy
November 19, 2004
Ordinarily, I would be writing something topical (about Dave Wannstedt quitting as Dolphins head coach so that he could smoke more weed), or sarcastic (about four Univ. of Memphis hoop players being burglarized of several items, including $40,000 worth of mink coats), or provocative (like stating that the Yankees, and NOW the Red Sox are ruining baseball with their spendthrift ways). But, instead, as the calendar dictates and as popular demand requires, it’s time again for the 4^th annual Year-End Reader Award Survey. So read on, and remember to vote. Or Die.

(Hit Feedback button at the end of the survey)

1. Who is the athlete of the year?

Lance Armstrong
The New England Patriots (entire team)
Paul Hamm
Mia Hamm ‘s husband
Curt Schilling
Hicham El Guerrouj
Derek Jeter
Outkast (for Hey Yah)

2. What was the year’s biggest surprise?

USA Men’s basketball fails to win Gold in Athens
Emergence of Ben Roethlisberger as a future Hall of Fame quarterback.
Pistons trounce Lakers in N.B.A. finals
Joe Torre retains job after Yankees lose 3-0 lead, failing for the fourth straight year to win World Series despite $180 million payroll.
UConn men and women winning NCAA basketball championships
MurphGuide Sports columnist predicts Super Bowl, Stanley Cup, NBA champion and World Series winner yet is still not scooped up by more prestigious (albeit less “fun”) sports websites.
Lance Armstrong wins Tour De France.

And finally:

3. Who is the Biggest Buffoon in each Sport

A. Basketball (the Jayson Williams Award)

Latrell Sprewell
Alonzo Mourning
Jerry Buss
Ron Artest
Kobe Bryant
Isaiah Thomas
Shaquille O’ Neal
Any Portland Trailblazer

B. Baseball (the George Steinbrenner Award)

Barry Bonds
Pedro Martinez
Nomar Garciaparra
Gary Sheffield’s wife and R. Kelly
Raul Mondesi
Jason Giambi
The Ranger pitcher who threw the chair at a fan in Oakland
Carlos Guillen

C. Football (The Warren Sapp Award)

Herm Edwards
Terrell Owens (with our without Nicolette Sheridan)
Bobby Bowden (perennial nominee)
The BCS
Daniel Snyder
The Mann(son)ing family

D. Soccer

The guy who yells “GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL”
Name any soccer player more than 16 years old.

E. Hockey

Garry Bettman
Any Ranger G.M.
Mike Danton (The guy who was convicted of trying to have his agent killed.)
Dany Heatley (The guy who killed Dan Snyder while driving too fast)
Todd Bertuzzi (The guy who broke Steve Moore’s neck with a cheap shot.)
The guy who (in the future) breaks the lockout impasse, bringing hockey back to the toothless masses.

#!@%&*! (Curses)
October 28, 2004

Musings on the baseball post-season
• Finally, the Sox win. It’s a good thing, now we can move on to other things. The Pirates now join the bottom-5, of teams with the longest drought (not counting the Rangers, Expos, Astros, Padres, Mariners, and Brewers, who have never won a WS).

• A very boring “coronation”, after game 1. The Cardinals put up absolutely no fight, which rarely happens in baseball.

• Once Suppan showed his inexperience on the bases in game 3, Pedro was lights out, and that was that. It was pathetic, really. Will this team be a factor in 2005? Will Tony LaRussa get a pass, or will he take some heat like Joe Torre finally (deservedly) is?

• Overall, the post-season wasn’t quite as good as last year’s which was off the charts. But for the Sox, the curse is double dead, (title, plus beating the Yankees). May the Bambino finally rest in peace. Now, only the Mets and Reds have it over the Red Sox. For all eternity!

• The Sox comeback from the dead versus the Yankees was the ultimate team victory. As with many close series, pretty much every Red Sock contributed in some way to the comeback victory (all except 3rd base coach Dale Sveum, who wins my inaugural Jose Oquendo award for lousy 3rd base coaching).

• Foulke? Sure, we knew he was good, having posted nearly identical stats vs Mariano Rivera in Innings, Games, K’s, batting average against, E.R.A., and blown saves in 2004. (alright, maybe we didn’t realize that, cause many Sox blowout victories came without saves). 14 innings, 7 hits, 1 run in the post season. Maybe the best post-season ever for reliever?

• How bad, in terms of fundamentals, must Manny Ramirez have been in high school, before he got to see 1,500 major league games, and be around dozens of coaches for 12 years. Yet, his overthrow of the cutoff man in game 3 turned out to be a huge turning point. 17 game hitting streak. He’s the new Mr. October.

• What would Jesus do, if he were on the Red Sox? Besides chanting “Whose My Daddy?, He’d probably probably say “What in the name of Me is Jennifer Garner doing next to Ben Affleck in a Red Sox hat?

• Does anyone want to a ball autographed by both Bill Buckner and Mookie Wilson?

• Will Mia say “Now that’s showing some emotion, Nomar” after he takes a baseball bat to all that new china they got from the wedding. It’s bad enough he passed up a never-to-be-seen again $60 million 4-year contract. Now, virtually the only homegrown Sock on the 2004 team, finds out that he was the curse, that he has the birthmark on his skull featuring the number of the beast: 1918.

• On Fox’s coverage of the post-season. Since when does a few soldiers, all hailing from 3 or 4 states in the northeast, constitute a “multinational force”? And why was Al Leiter so quiet during the World Series?

Yankees
Was it only a year ago, after a devastating loss, the Yankee Nation (lead by Jeter, who said after the Boone dinger “We have a lot of ghosts in this building.”) proclaimed eternal dominance. Now, it’s the Yankees who appear cursed, being eliminated two years in a row on their own formerly hallowed ground.

But wait. Ask yourself this, if the Yankees don’t make one single move over the off-season, how many wins can the team, as is, (minus Willie Randolph?) have over a 162 game 2005 schedule.

It’s possible that Jeter, A-Rod, Giambi and Matsui can have better years. Williams, Posada and Sheffield aren’t finished yet. Their lineup is still well-above average. Mussina could bounce back for a full season, and Lieber has shown his chops. Brown, Vasquez have a lot to prove, and Brown is probably washed up. But Vasquez has a shot But, as we saw with the Dodgers, Cardinals, Braves, and Twins, very few teams have strong pitching staffs. And there’s no guarantee that Lowe and Pedro will be back in beantown, or that an aging Schilling will give a shit anymore. Will the bullpen do its job, better than most other teams? Add that all up, and you must get at least 90 wins, is it unreasonable to expect a few more. Remember, this year’s squad didn’t get great starting pitching, still won 101 games. Is this a playoff team? Who’s gonna knock them out, the A’s, White Sox or Indians? The Rangers? The Yankees don't need to make major changes. They can win it all next year with what they've got. Just play better baseball when it counts.

Now for a shocker: The Curse of the Bambino actually got in the Yankees heads more than the Red Sox heads. They clearly tightened up in games 6 and 7 vs. the surging Sox. They were relying on the curse. That’s crap. They were the Yankees, they had a great team, though not perfect. They played tight, got no clutch hitting after the middle of game 5. In 2003, they blamed the drama and exhaustion of the ALCS for their poor showing in the WS. They made a June capping of sweep of the Red Sox at the stadium out to be “the greatest regular season game ever played”, and then promptly got swept by the hapless Metropolitans. They got all excited at keeping the Bosox at bay in September six game split, but by then the Yankees had already all but qualified for the playoffs. Torre over-taxed the bullpen all year, fighting for the division, and you can’t say fatigue wasn’t a factor in Tom Gordon’s and Rivera’s October meltdowns.

The fans also got carried away, dressing as ghosts, putting Babe’s face all over the place. Yankee fans were more into the curse than Red Sox fans. And the deep sadness and disbelief that they would finally lose to the Sox. Isn’t losing, to anyone, bad enough? Was being defeated by the Marlins so fun? Other than about 5 long-time Yanks, plus Sheffield, Olerud, and Brown, most Yankees have never won a World Series. All playoffs losses should sting equally. Move on already.

And on other topics.

The NHL
The silence is deafening. No, not the empty arena’s, but the apathy on the part of everybody. The league and players aren’t even talking. There’s no urgency. The players saved up their money, or are working elsewhere, and the owners save money by not playing. How sad it must be, growing up in Phoenix, Columbus, Charlotte, Tampa Bay, and Nashville, without hockey. How are they coping?

NFL
Quietly, the NFL season has progressed 7 weeks and the original 2 front-running teams are seemingly unchallenged at the top of the heep. The Belichicks and the Andy Reids are easily the class of the league. The Pats are on a remarkable run (20 games as of this writing), although they should more concern themselves with winning in the playoffs than the pressure of the regular season streak (see Yankees above. Keep your eyes on the prize).

Tom Brady has single handedly won 20 straight. Joe Montana never did that. He reminds me of Phil Simms. You know, never down by more than 7 points in any game, great kicker, great defense. I wonder what would happen if he had to go up against the one team that humbles all other offenses. The Patriots. I wonder what that would be like, him facing a Belichick contrived defensive scheme. That’s kind of like pitting the 2004 “comeback Yankees” against Mariano “money” Rivera. Except that age-old question is more like asking could the Mets mount a comeback while facing John Franco.

This year’s surprises seem soft (Jets, Giants, Broncos, Vikings), and the busts are numerous (Cowboys, Bengals, Panthers). I never thought I’d say this, but I actually feel sorry for Dolphin fans, they’re that bad.

Barry Bonds/Tyler Hamilton
Even though my ballot said Pujols, it looks as if Barry Bonds is going to win the NL MVP again. The balloting was held prior to new embarrassing revelations (proof!) that Barry is an ass. There aren’t many guys who would try to treat Gary Sheffield like a child? But Bonds has more troubles, since there is taped evidence of his steroid supplier talking about Bonds using illegal enhancements. And with some of Bonds’ specimens still on ice at the lab, it’s time for drastic action. He needs to hire one of Olympic cyclist Tyler Hamilton’s minions to go on another tamper-trip into the lab. I’m sure Barry has enough cash to make it happen, although I suspect in Hamilton’s case, his fans (average age: 17. average number of X chromosomes: 2.0) were probably after his specimens for more personal reasons.

NBA
This could be a good season, with the Lakers no longer a front-runner. A lot of talent changed hands: Rockets, Heat, Jazz have improved. Dallas, New Jersey, Lakers have slipped. I would expect that at least 6 teams have a shot at winning division titles. Okay, that was a trick, because as everyone now knows (That’s everyone with access to this WorldWideWeb sports column, which is to say about 3 billion people), the eastern and western conferences have both split into 3 divisions.

Still, I’d expect some one of the Kings, T-Wolves and Spurs to battle with the Pacers, Pistons, or maybe even the Heat out of the east.

Biggest rude awakening. Omeka Okefur carrying the expansion Bobcats to no where. This team might win 5 games. Second rudest awakening: New Orleans Hornets, moving to the western conference. Ouch! Third rudest awakening: New Jersey’s new ownership. “ I didn’t know NBA arenas echoed that loudly!”

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"Wregular Season Wrap-Up"
by Peter Murphy
October 4, 2004

Pennant Races
A tip of the hat to the Angels, and good riddance to the A’s. Skipper Mike Scioscia managed to convince the team to suspend a top player, Ozzie Guillen, for having a bad attitude, and it paid off. Let's hope the Yankees have the guts to dock Kevin Brown for his 3 missed weeks. Maybe it won’t lead to player revolt that they fear. The A’s can never win the big games. The overrated triumvirate of Hudson, Mulder and Zito are saving Steinbrenner millions in future free agent contracts, although the Yanks may be desperate enough this winter, that they’ll seek even less-than-great talent. The A’s top pitchers remind me a little of this year’s Cubs, (see below) more reputation than actual results. The Astros remarkable run to close out the year exonerates those who said Phil Garner couldn’t go 46-26 with a stacked lineup and two Cy Young (award) caliber starters. As it turns out, the Andy Pettite signing was the key, only in that it induced Clemens to pitch for Houston this year.

Mets-Cubs
The Mets mismanagement of difficult situations continues with the hiring of Queens native Omar Minaya to oversee the baseball operations. The A-Rod and Vlad Guerrero non-acquisitions were embarrassing. Piazza’s position changes were fraught with missteps. And now, the Duquette-Minaya mess. At his introductory press conference, Mets owner/mis-manager Fred Wilpon basically said that Minaya would have full autonomy, and that ownership wouldn’t meddle in baseball decisions. They could have just as easily not hired him but announced that they wouldn’t meddle with the duties of current general manager Jim Duquette. It would have saved a lot of money, money they could have used to hire more doctors to look at AL MVP Guerrero’s X-rays. And what’s the big deal about Minaya anyway? He discovered Sammy Sosa 20 years ago? Why don’t they hire Sosa’s chemist, or his carpenter, the guys really responsible for his almost 600 career home runs.

Wilpon had hoped to play “meaningful” games in September, as a cover to his desire to slash payroll while still hoping for a shot at qualifying for the post-season. Well, the Mets are exonerated on a technicality. They played a meaningful inning, but the meaning was for the Cubs. The blowing of a three run lead in the ninth at Shea on September 25th was the beginning of the end for the hapless Northsiders, unleashing a week of blown late leads. Their meltdown is reminiscent of the 2002 Giants World Series meltdown, when, up 5-0 in the 7th inning of the game 6 clincher. Reminiscent, because Dusty Baker presided over both failures.

The Cubs in post-season would have been a nice story, but in a way, it’s good to see them on the golf course so soon, because after having won the 2003 NL Central (with a whopping 88 wins), and winning 1 of 3 rounds in the postseason they and their fans were a little arrogant coming in to the 2004 campaign. As Bill Parcells has said, you start where you started, not where you finished. Just because you make the playoffs in 2003, doesn’t mean your gonna be back. You still have to fight it out, and their team wasn’t complete, and just not good enough. Yet they acted as if they were a perennial playoff contender. Alou and Sosa are showing signs of age. Their pitching was overrated. Maddux, Wood and Prior aren't exactly Schilling, Randy Johnson and anyone. Maddux is well past his prime and inspires fear in no one. Wood and Prior, with their 83 combined wins lifetime coming in to the season, have already both blown games late in the playoffs. Their team, again with 88 wins, was not as good as, say, the Red Sox, who had a more valid reason to assume they would make the playoffs.

Other Items:
Ichiro. Please, Mariners, do not let this hit machine and baseball’s most exciting player go to waste. His run scoring and RBI totals are pitiful, so hitting .370, and getting on base twice a game isn’t meaningful unless he’s surrounded by other talent. Without a lot of power, he can’t do it alone, so trade him, or develop some more offense.

Piazza. Please start caring. About something, anything. You look like you don’t give a crap. Al Leiter has been on the Mets just as long, through the good times and the dregs, and he still can get up for a game, so can you.

Nomar. Oh well, too bad you didn’t take the $15 mill a year to stay in Boston last year. Maybe next . . . . Oh wait, that was a one-time offer.

Larry Bowa. He’s Bobby Valentine, without the 3 out of 5 post-season series record. Good riddance to you to.

Tom Glavine. When you retire about 15 wins shy of 300, I want you to remember that you followed up an all-star first half of the season with 3 wins and an E.R.A. of 5.15 in the second half of the season.

League Awards.
N.L. MVP
I’ll give the nod this year to Albert Pujols, who is the league’s second (to Bonds) most dangerous hitter. Bonds is the most dangerous pitch-taker. Bonds was 33rd in RBI in the majors, but still cracked the 100 mark in only 373 at bats (and usually with bases empty). Pujols is again strong across the board, with power and batting average.

N.L. Cy Young
Not out of habit, but I’ll go with Clemens. No one else stood out above a core group of three or four, but at 40+ years old, Clemens held the team above water for most of the year. Was his stomach virus a sign of nerves, like he can’t start in a big spot? Hardly, Clemens has pitched poorly in plenty of big spots (Game 7 vs Red Sox in 2003 the most recent) that he’s used to it. Except the Astros never win in the post-season, wouldn’t it be cool if the Astros lose 4 road World Series games, and they blame Roger for blowing the all-star game?

N.L. Rookie of the year
David Wright, New York Mets. What other rookie was his team’s top hitter in terms of batting average, and home runs per at bat? But the real reason? I’m writing this off the top of my head, and can’t think of anyone else right now. Oh wait, my research intern just mumbled a name, I think Jason Bay? Yes, her head is bobbing up and down, so I must have heard her correctly. Okay. Jason Bay is it, David Wright takes second.

N.L. Manager of the Year
How about Bobby Cox? The only difference between him and Felipe Alou is that Alou had tougher in-division competition, and goes home early. But really, who thought the Braves would win the division this year. Phil Garner, a close third, but he had a better lineup to work with.

A.L. Cy Young
Johan Sebastian Santana. 13-0 to close out the year. This could be unanimous. Second is obviously Schilling.

A.L. MVP
I’m tempted to go with Gary Sheffield, base on his .330 average, almost 40 home runs, and 132 RBI. But, of course, that was last year’s tally. So he dropped 40 points in batting average (30 in on base percentage) and a couple of HR’s and RBI. All this while having either A-Rod or Matsui as batting order protection. Plus, there are 5 guys on the Yankees with 100 runs, three with over 100 RBI. Granted, he did hit .327 with runners in scoring position, but Manny Ramirez hit .340 with runners in scoring position too, beats Sheffield in HR, RBI Avg, On-base percentage, slugging percentage. And for those who insist on a player being “valuable” only if their team makes the post-season, (which I don’t) well, lets just try to imagine the Red Sox without Manny’s production. It’s very possible that the Sox aren’t the wild card without Manny. The Yankees probably are at least the wild card team without Sheffield. In other words, yes Yankee fans, you’ve had a great run of 10 playoff appearances, second all-time only to the current Braves 13 year streak, and it’s frustrating to not have had a player win an MVP. But isn’t that the key to the Yankees’ success, that the team is stacked, and even it’s best player doesn’t have to be the league’s best for the team to be successful? So enough of these campaigns (Soriano in 2002, Posada in 2003). Try to have the World Series MVP on your team.

Vladimir Guerrero was player of the month of September, and hit .526 in the final week, with 6 HRs to lead his team to a division title, the only team to do so that was facing elimination from postseason altogether. Guerrero is also the only hitter in the top 5 in all three crown categories. Not a bad fielder either. Final ballot: Guerrero, Ramirez, Tejada, Sheffield, and Ortiz.

A.L. Rookie of the Year
Lew Ford over Bobby Crosby. Crosby got all the acclaim and is a keeper, but how many rookies hit around .300.

A.L. Manager of the Year
Mike Scioscia. Solely because he had the guts to cut a great hitter in the last week of the season while trailing in the division race by 3 games. He took command, got the job done against tough in-division rivals, and made it to the post-season.

Playoff Predictions:

Astros over Braves, only because the Braves (like the A’s) were eliminated in the first round in the last four seasons, I have no faith in this perennial playoff bust. Plus, the 2004 Braves are not that good. I know the Astros haven’t EVER won a post-season series, but the Braves lost a Game 5 at home to the wild card Cubs last year, and lost to the wild card Giants in 2002.

Cardinals over Dodgers The Cardinals have fallen off the radar screen, with their easy division championship clinched long ago. Not that impressed with the Dodgers.

Angels over Red Sox. Angels are on a roll, and will catch the Red Sox looking ahead to the LCS. If this prediction doesn’t come through, the Red Sox nation, come Halloween, will wish it had, because any first round victories will be just stringing the Sox faithful along. Ask your Cubs-Fan cousins, which was worse, 2003 or 2004?

Yankees over Twins. The Yankees have owned the Twins for a few years now, and are too good to lose in the first round.

World Series
I’ve been dead on the last two years, and I’m going for three. Cardinals over Angels. The Cardinals, who haven’t sipped from the Cup since 1982, but have the stronger offense, which will make the Angels bullpen edge moot.

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"Pennant Push et al"
by Peter Murphy
September 20, 2004

The baseball season is winding down, and again, without the wild card races, would be less interesting. The national league holds much of the drama, with the most teams in a tight formation. The AL pecking order is open to speculation, but it looks like 3 of the 4 qualifiers are known. Six of the final 12 games will feature A’s-Angels head-to-head for the final spot, but we on the east coast will have to stay up late to file our stories. For the A.L., I predict that the A’s will hold off the Angels before losing to the Yankees in round 1. I also expect the Twins to go down in a hail of Red Sox big innings, setting up the match-up that everyone has been waiting for since last October.

The recent series in the Bronx fizzled out early as the bombers smacked around Red Sox starting pitching, but no offense Yankee fans, you’re kind of expected to win 2 of 3 at home vs. just about anybody. I watched these blowouts at T.G. Whitney's pub which, ironically was the inspiration for the television program “Cheers”, and had to endure the pleadings to the barmen to change the channel to college and pro football. Derek Lowe and Pedro proved what was already known to be true: Derek Lowe is Derek Lowe, and Pedro is the new Pedro, not the Pedro of old. Neither of these facts bode well for the Bosox. Pedro, with his E.R.A. hovering around 3 and a half all year, is 1 to 2 runs per game worse than during his hey day. The Yankees have never really feared Pedro anyway, having beaten him numerous times. The fact that they clobbered him in a big game only means that someone important is gonna get hit Friday night in Fenway. Lets hope it’s Jeter.

Back to the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry. The Yankees, lead by Steinbrenner, Levine, and Torre, are in danger of falling into the over-hype trap. The Yankees have dominated the Sox for years, and should approach them as if they were any other team. Let the Red Sox, who have the failure hang-up, worry about you, not vice-versa. Recall all the crap that went on after the early July series which ended with John Flaherty and Miguel Cairo’s heroics. The Yankees acted as if that series was a playoff, and promptly got swept by the Mets, which had never happened before. (More on this later). The Red Sox swept the Yanks in the Bronx in April, but the Yankees bounced back. Yankees swept the Sox, and the Sox rebounded. These series are not as important as the playoffs. Each game is not as meaningful as it is made out to be. Steinbrenner was freaking out on Friday night, as it turns out, needlessly.

In the National League, the Marlins and Astros face uphill battles, which is good because I would prefer to see the Cubs or Giants, just for the human interest stories. Actually, I really just want to see the Cubs make it so that another page can be added to the tragedy. How do you top the Bartman incident? For now, my crystal ball says a Cubs-Braves first round match-up. With St. Louis defeating west champ Los Angeles, a dream match-up of Cubs vs. Cardinals will give baseball two great league championship series.

Amazing Mess, Part 1

Time to blow off steam about New York’s other baseball team, the Mets. I will restate my claim of a year ago, but more loudly: FRED WILPON IS THE ROOT OF ALL MEDIOCRITY. The Mets will not succeed while this idiot is in charge. The Met management’s performance has been awful in several ways.

Bad acquisitions. In response to competition within the city, the Mets in recent years have fallen into selling out the future to “compete” now. The acquisitions of Appier, Vaughan, Alomar, Benson and Zambrano have come at too high of a cost for their potential gain. Most of these players were either past their primes, cost to much in salary, and/or cost too much in trades.
Inconsistency. To begin the year, the Mets thought they would try to save on salaries, and be less competitive. This is what they should have done two years ago. Unfortunately, after sweeping the Yankees in July, and being in the midst of a slumping N.L. East pennant race, the Mets assumed that it was then okay to reverse field, and start adding payroll in an effort to capture the east flag with about 88 wins. Make up your mind, you are either rebuilding (which means trade Piazza, like 2 years ago) or you aren’t. Don’t go half-assed after Vlad Guerrero, who is in the top 5 players in the league, and turn down Kazmir for Soriano, and then turn around and give up Kazmir for Zambrano, who isn’t even playing now. And it’s been going on for a while. Remember A-Rod was too rich for Mets blood, yet they’ve at times paid Glavine, Appier, Vaughan and Hidalgo over $10 mil a year?
Lack of leadership. Why does Piazza get to decide where he plays? He works for you, not the other way around. Tell him where to play (which should be catcher, since at .265, you want him to miss those 30 games a year), and expect him to do it. Oh, he’s a superstar, so you can’t tell him what to do? Well then what’s the excuse with Kaz Matsui? He can’t play Short, and you have one who’s better, but you’re afraid to move him? What message does that send to the rest of the team? He doesn’t even speak English, just tell him it’s a rule change or something, but move him over. And why does Al Leiter get to fire pitching coaches (Apodaca in 1999) and get consulted on bad trades (Zambrano in 2004)? What G.M. school does he have a degree from?
Poor personnel decisions. Why did the Mets extend Steve Phillips in 2000, and then let him ruin the team. Why did they give Art "How?" four years? Why don’t they let Jim Duquette do his job? Why does heir to the crown Jeff Wilpon have power?
Poor communication. Why does Piazza find out where he’s playing from reporters. I’m getting sick of him asking me if I’ve seen today’s lineup card. Why is Art How? the last to know he is fired?

The bad luck that the Mets have experienced (rampant injuries) can only be blamed for so much. WIlpon gets the rest. Please, sir, sell the team to someone else. How about to the amazing William Davidson, who owns the Tampa Bay Lightning, Detroit Pistons, and the Detroit Shock, all winners of championship titles in 2004.

Amazing Mess, Part 2

Granted, no one cares, but the NHL is in trouble. The recent lockout will either end badly in the short run, or the long run. If the players show resolve, which they might given overseas employment opportunities, then league could lose a season. This is not baseball, which can rebound from such a calamity. This is hockey, which is a distant 4^th among major U.S. sports. If the owners are successful in getting a cap, and it suppresses salaries, then numerous stars may seek overseas employment anyway. And please, hockey fans, don’t hit the Feedback button and tell me that I criticize hockey because I don’t like or understand hockey. That’s a cop out. Face it, the league has made mistakes (playoff format, tolerance of fighting and cheap shots, and paying Bobby Holik $9 million a year), deal with it.

Movie Previews

Hustle (ESPN, September 26^th).

Finally, Pete Rose’s life story will be told in celluloid? Couldn’t they get someone more likeable to play the part of Pete, or was that the point. Ex-con (wife beater) to play ex-con (tax evader). The movie was informative, especially if you aren’t up on the case. The acting and script, however, are awful. It’s classic made-for-TV writing, and is weaker than earlier efforts of the ESPN film school, namely the Junction Boys (Paul “Bear” Bryant) and A Season on the Brink (Bobby “the Unbearable” Knight).

The film exposes the seedier side of Rose, and is the latest in a long line of events that will only keep Rose out of the Hall of Fame beyond his 15 year writer’s eligibility period. Under BWAA rules, I’m not supposed to say in advance who I will or won’t vote for, but if I were him (and if at least 25% of the other voters voted the way I will if his ban is lifted), then he will have to wait for consideration from the veterans committee. And that group, besides Joe Morgan and Mike Schmidt, are not sympathetic. Some Hall of Fame vets who have come out against Rose were contemporaries like Johnny Bench and Hank Aaron, and others are just old and cranky (Bob Feller, Jim Bunning). Of course, Jim Bunning, now Senator Bunning from somewhere wanted to have Alan Greenspan removed from office, and in fact was the lone dissenting vote in the reconfirmation of the Fed Chairman. How do you think he’d vote on the all-time hit king?

The best thing you can say about the movie was the atmosphere at the sneak preview. The hors d’oerves were fabulous, and the scene was a veritable who’s who in baseball. The most prominent of course was Bud Selig, the man who holds the keys to Rose’s reentry into baseball, but after revealing that Rose will be instated by Christmas, it was discovered that Selig was really an imposter working for the Howard Stern radio show.

Mr. 3000 (in theatres now)

What seems like a light-hearted affair of baseball hi-jinks is more accurately described as a veiled attempt to call into questions the records of Al Kaline and Roberto Clemente, both who barely made it to 3,000 hits. This movie is like most baseball movies. Tries too hard to be funny, and it shows. The baseball scenes are implausible. The whole premise of the movie, that a player could completely lose all skill, is also far-fetched. If O.J. Simpson can take on two younger people, murder them on a bum knee, then Bernie Mac (as Mr. 3000) can certainly do more than one pushup at a time. This film is a must miss.

Potpourri

Item: Kevin Brown’s self-inflicted wound. There are 2 schools of thought on this one. Either, the Yankees shouldn’t punish him or dock him. They should give him a purple heart, because he was wounded in uniform, even if self-inflicted. I, however, come from the second school, which says he should be docked for each day missed. I say this not out of any sense of justice or malice. Rather, I just want to see what defense the Players’ Association comes up with to justify fighting for the rights of this moron.
Item: Paul Hamm. No one owes you jack. Shut your sissy little voice up already. On the flip side, some say he should give his Gold medal to the South Korean? I agree that Hamm should give up his gold, not to the South Korean gymnast, but to Roy Jones Jr, who was robbed in 1988 (in Seoul) by corrupt South Korean boxing judges.
Item: Olympic Marathon disrupted by deranged spectator. Poor Cornelius Horan of Ireland. Ironically, this nut was less a danger to society as a priest.
Item: The return of Deion Sanders. This is a good thing. First, he can’t be any worse than Jerry Rice is. And second, if this keeps him from having a regular gig as a NFL commentator, then I’m all for it.

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"Dog Dayz"
by Peter Murphy
August 23, 2004

Dog days, that’s what they call this time of summer, when baseball pennant races start heating up, and some teams wilt in the summer heat. It also describes the part of the NFL season where things are getting warmed up, with the training camps buzzing. The “z” in the spelling of the title was just a successful attempt to make this sports column seem more edgy and get the reader to stay with it for at least the first paragraph.

NFL preview
So far, the NFL pre-season has been dominated by stories that are funny, sad, and bizarre. You get all three with the Ricky Williams story. It’s funny if you root for the Pats, Jets and Bills. Sad if you like fish. This guy was unconventional from day one, and although their running styles differ, Williams seems to be taking a page from the Barry Sanders finishing school. Williams joins a growing list of players, like Sanders, Jim Brown, Robert Smith and former 49er tight end John Frank, who hang it up before they reach the lame/demented stage. Most non-players can’t figure out why they give up the cash and the glory. It annoys the lay person who doesn’t have the option to play and to not play. Many who have criticized Williams have said he quit on his teammates, but that’s bull. No player has that obligation, the season is too long and too violent for anyone to realistically expect a teammate to put up with the pounding that Williams has been getting with 400 touches a year. The only ones he is screwing is Dolphin ownership, who laid out big signing bonus cash for a long term deal, expecting him to be the centerpiece. They probably don’t give the big bonus for just three years, so he probably should kick some back.

Looks like Eli Manning will take a back seat . . . .. . to the man who broke Ricky Williams all-time NCAA D-1 rushing record. Ron Dayne. Dayne flashed never-before-seen brilliance in the first exhibition game. He’s playing much better (or just playing period) since Fassel left and since he was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame, to which he donated about 40 pounds of ass. Who knew that the NFL required speed to be successful as a runner?! Will Dayne’s resurgence cost the fumbling Tiki Scissorhands some playing time?

And what’s up with the Cleveland new-Browns giving all those dog biscuits to decorated college football veteran Kellen Winslow the 2nd? How does a tight end from college get $40 million to sign. How many plays you gonna run his way per game, and he doesn’t even block.

Playoff prediction:

Eagles, Saints, Vikings, Seahawks, Panthers, Redskins
Colts, Browns, Chiefs, Bills, Patriots, Ravens

Baseball
Seems like there are only two division races yet to be decided, thank Bud-God for the wild card, which remains the only smart thing the owners have done since they hired Selig. At least half the teams have been tricked into thinking they can make the playoffs. The wild card has tricked the Mets into trading minor league phenom Scott Kazimir for starting pitching help for this year’s wild card run. Good move, he’s the same guy (and Reyes too) who was untouchable when Alfonso Soriano was on the block earlier this year.

Speaking of the Mets, (who said a tearful goodbye to former original Met announcer Bob Murphy), what’s up with that? It’s gotten so bad, that Piazza is blaming his summer slump on a knee injury. I say dump him. So bad that their vaunted middle infield is ailing. So bad that Tom Glavine, seeing no other way out nearly dies on the highway. Next time use a seatbelt (or cyanide, if this is what I really think it was about). But who could blame you. How you gonna win 300 games when your fielders continue to cost you runs, and you suffer from untimely hitting lapses. And sometimes, untimely set-up relief. What is John Franco still doing in the league? He’s the Golan Cipel of the major leagues. (He is given a job at a high salary for which he is so obviously unqualified for). The silver linings: David Wright, and every day is one day closer to dumping Art Howe (as in Howe did he get a $2 mil per contract?)

Future Hall of Famer, Randy Johnson is imprisoned in the baseball wasteland of Phoenix. I say, screw him, he wanted the big money, crippling his team toward bankruptcy, and then refused to bail them out by scaring most non-Bronx teams away from trading for him. He deserves to be playing with 24 rookies with no hope of success.

The Astros, or was it the Jimy Williams led Astros, are a joke. Remember the hoopla when they signed Andy Pettite? The owner was saying that it was their turn. Turn for what? Their turn to find out that Andy Pettite isn’t dominant, and you can live without him? That sorry franchise has never even won a playoff series. That’s in 43 years, and they’ve been in the playoffs about 6 times. Without Clemens, they’re a sub-500 team, which is sad, since they have Berkman, Kent, Biggio, and the formerly juiced Jeff Bagwell in their lineup.

I reiterate my call for the head of Larry Bowa. They have given him a good roster, and they're still a joke. He ran Scott Rolen out of town, and pisses everyone else off. What are they waiting for? Call Bobby Valentine while you still have a shot at the wild card.

Edgar Martinez is calling it quits. He’s second (behind Barry Larkin) among current players in continuous service to one team. Great right handed hitter, but probably short of the Hall of Fame. At least as long as Steve Garvey and Jim Rice are still Hall-less. Or the Hall is GarveyandRiceless. I wonder what was up with the Mariners decision to can John Olerud. A good guy in the clubhouse, a good eye at the plate, and slick fielder, having anchored one of the greatest fielding infields in history, the 1999 Mets. If Giambi doesn’t come back to form, the Yankees will benefit from his presence, or the Mariners presents.

And finally, Nomar. He must be thanking his lucky stars he left the 86-year non-champion streak of the Red Sox, for the contending Chicago Cubs. This way he has a better chance of celebrating 100 years of futility as a Cub in 2008. Maybe later in his career, he can sign with the White Sox, and only have to wait until 2017. I think the Red Sox have enough bats to get by without this sour puss, and formerly great hitter. He had his chance to make peace with the Red Sox over the last year and a half. Good luck getting $15 million a year, pal. Mamma Mia!

Early playoff prediction:

Yanks, Red Sox, Twins, and A’s
Dodgers, Braves, Giants, and umm Cardinals?

NBA
Can someone end this Kobe mess already. As I said 6 months ago, you’ll never get a 12-0 guilty vote, even if he did it. Now, the prosecutors will be lucky to get a hung jury. Let’s move on so we don’t have to hear about how courageous he has been in playing like an all-star despite all the turmoil. Maybe he’s playing well because he’s not physically “tuckered out”, now that his wife undoubtedly has him sleeping on the couch.

Olympics
I wasn’t really looking forward to this over-hyped quadrennial event, it’s just really to kill time before the Republican convention. But I happened to catch the dream team’s opener vs. Puerto Rico. Sitting through the final dismal minutes, I couldn’t stop thinking of the solution to the USA men’s hoop teams troubles. It’s time for drastic action. No, not reverting to college players, or even canning an evidently lousy coach, Larry Brown. It is finally time to make Puerto Rico our 51st state!

NHL
You gotta love the NHL, with rules allowing assault, and gambling by players on other sports. If Flyer star Jeremy Roenick paying $100,000 for gambling advice from a “tout”, how much is he betting on games? How much would you invest in the stock market if you had to pay a stockbroker $100,000 upfront? If this was the NFL or the ML Baseball, he would be suspended, and if he bet on hockey, he’d be ineligible for the hall of fame (unless he admitted he lied about it for 15 years, then he’d get some sympathy).

Tiger Woods (I mean “Golf”)
Oh well, another major, the PGA championship, has come and gone and Tiger Woods is no closer to catching the ghost of Jack Nicklaus. Congratulations to the winner, whomever that was. It’s sad now that they’ve lowered the bar, and started talking about how many consecutive tournament cuts Woods has made. As of now, I resolve to stop watching tournaments just to see how Tiger does. From now on, I will only watch golf tournaments on Sunday’s when Tiger is actually in contention for the win.

Thatz all for now.

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"The Readers Strike Back"
by Peter Murphy
July 9, 2004

As has been a tradition, when the e-mail bag starts overflowing I have one of my interns sift through reader mail for the best letters, and I try to respond. It’s that time again.

1. Dear MurphGuide_TM sports guy:
What did you think of the Euro Cup this year?
Mark in the Azores

Dear Mark (if that’s your real name):
I’m tempted to tell you to get a life, since everyone knows the only non-American football worth watching is the World Cup, which will be held in another two years. But since you asked, I would say that this year’s Euro Cup was, in a word, shocking! While you chew on that for a while, it will buy me some time to find out who played whom, and what team was victorious. Oh, here it is. Greece wins 1 to “nil”, over Portugal. It was a great game, assuming it didn’t end in penalty kicks. It was a match-up of two former world powers. (Trust me, they both are former world powers; I looked it up in an encyclopedia.) Despite the low scoring, I’m sure there were a lot of “ooh” and “ahh” moments, as is often the case in a soccer game. Can’t believe we’ll have to wait another four years for the next one.

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2. Dear Chatterer:
Looks like you screwed up in your June 6^th edition (see “Archives”) by predicting the Lakers would defeat the Pistons. What’s up with that?
Monday morning Quarterback

Dear Monday:
At the time of the pick, the Fakers had just dominated Minnesota, and had swept out the Spurs in games 3 to 6. Meanwhile, the gutty Pistons had some trouble with the Pacers, and a lot of unnecessary trouble with the Nets. I fell for it, but it’s not like the Lakers (12-4 pre Pistons) were showing signs of implosion. It was a great upset, I just got it wrong. Sorry (although I doubt you picked it correctly either). I ain’t perfect, remember, I had Smarty Jones to win the Belmont, Serena, or any Williams, to win Wimbledon, and the Yankees to NOT get swept at Shea by the Mets, who did not pitch Leiter, or Glavine.

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3. Dear Murph:
Hey, don’t let “Monday” off so easily and respectfully! Does he forget that in your April 26, 2004 NBA playoff preview article (see “Archives”) you initially picked the Pistons to win it all, based on Baltimore-Raven caliber all-time defense, and having the best coach in the business, bar none?
Got your Back

Dear Got my back:
I appreciate the support, and your excellent memory. However, next time, try to write in a style that doesn’t so obviously give away the fact that either you somehow read my mail, or, more likely, that this letter was just made up to point out that pre-playoff, I had picked the east’s 2-seed as the champion.

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4. Murph:
Why don’t you cover the Tour de France as much as you used to?
Name withheld

Dear name withheld, (whose real name is Bob Swanson):
Because the outcome is pre-determined. Lance will win again. Plus, it’s a strange sport, with teams competing to see who is the best individual. If your Sir Lance’s teammate, you’re expected carry his water, block the wind for him, and give him your front tire if he needs it. Can you imagine an NBA team playing the same way US Postal Service_TM team plays? Would the coach say, “Hey C-Webb, Peja’s lace ripped, can you give him yours, and while you’re at it, box out so he can get some rebounds.”

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5. Sports guy:
What did you think of Cliff Floyd’s catch the other night, wherein, while in a tight battle of first and second place division rivals (a big game, even if it’s only July), Floyd ran at full speed without regard to his safety to catch a ball with 2 outs and men on base. He caught the ball, then crashed into the wall hurting his shoulder in the process. Amazingly, he remained in the game, and even played the next 3 games of the series.
Mikey Z. on the car phone

Dear Mikey:
It’s obvious to me by the way you over-dramatize Floyd’s catch in a game featuring two division rivals that you don’t know too much about baseball. This sort of thing happens all the time. What was Floyd supposed to do, pull up when he felt the warning track under his feet? Don’t blow it out of proportion. 1^st and 2^nd place teams playing in July is not the same as September or October. Don’t get too emotional, because it will leave you flat for the next series.

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6. Dear Yoda:
Do you think Cerzakashewski made the right decision staying at Duke? Do you think the Laker’s point guard situation had any influence on his decision?

Ben

Dear Benji:
First of all, Coach C’s name is spelled with two or three Zee’s, I think. Coach C. made the right call in turning his back on the Moo La of La La Land, and it had nothing to do with the Point Guard Formerly Known as Gary Payton. Face it, Coach C’s strength is in motivation. The Dukies are told that if they play the way they know they are capable of playing, then no one can defeat them. They believe his words. That’s why those poor blue chips that cycle in and out of Duke are always left in teary disbelief when they lose in the NCAA tournament (even though this is how 21 of the 24 years of Coach C’s tenure have ended). They act like when they find out smoking is bad for you, or that Santa Claus is sleeping with the Tooth Fairy. Well, in the NBA, the players are motivated by being on Sports Center_TM and by the millions in salary and endorsements. They don’t come to play every night; the season and the playoffs are too long. And, even if successful, Coach C would lose 25 games a year, about 6 year’s worth in Durham. And he won’t get blue chips every year, he’ll have to motivate some mid-level exception that they squeeze in under the salary cap, and some 20^th pick in the first round.

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7. Mr. Murphy:
I’m only 82, so I call you Mister out of respect for my elders. Can you tell me what it was like when the Red Sox last won the World Series? I’ve been told by my doctors that I only have about 25 years to live, so I’m wondering will I live to see the Sox ever win another World Series?

Mr. old guy:
First of all, I would have to be like 200 years old to have witnessed the Sox last victory in 1819 or something like that. From what I know, it was like horse drawn carriages, the gold standard, and no-air conditioning. I don’t know if they’ll ever win it again, since they’re cursed. But this year’s version of the Sox will not win. They can’t even beat Tanyon Sturtze. They can’t even close out a game facing Sierra, Cairo, and Flaherty. How are they gonna win four out of seven vs. Rivera, Sheffield, A-Rod and Matsui? It seems they have psyched themselves out. They have placed too much emphasis on beating the Yankees head to head, rather than just playing six months of good ball. How can the division race be over in July, only 7 or 8 games out? That’s a loser mentality. Fact is, it seems the Yankees are also getting a little psyched out. Last year vs. the Marlins, and this year vs. the Mets, they seemed flat playing in an anti-climactic series. That shouldn’t happen. Of course it’s win now in a playoff series, there’s no tomorrow, but you can’t manage your bullpen in a regular season series such that you are flat for the subsequent series.

And yes, you are correct, the Sox should dump Nomar.

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8. Murph:
I’m an open minded Redskin fan, and I think the Redskins should change the name of the team to something more modern, more reflective of the community they play in. What do you suggest?

H.A.L.

Hal:
How about the Washington Bullets?

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9. Yo:
What do you think of the Laker’s off-season so far?

Phil J., Pat R. and Jerry W.

Dear P P & J:
I think management and ownership are making a mistake by betting on Kobe the younger. He is a selfish player, and evidently he doesn’t play nice off the court. Bob Dylan is working on a song to put Kobe IN prison. Course, Dylan is a T-Wolves fan. It seems they favor Kobe over Phil Jackson, who has won 9 rings, and Shaq, who was finals MVP 3 times. Even though Shaquille has a sometimes-questionable attitude, is a little older and has more miles on him, he still remains unmatchupable, which is key in a short series. He is one of the few, and probably the best NBAer at dominating both ends of the court. If you get rid of Shaq, it’s hard to recreate what he brings you, even with two players. If I had a choice, I’d go with Shaq, and surround him with other players. I just don’t feel that Kobe can lead a team through 4 rounds.

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10. Dear Pete:
Anything else?
Pete

Dear Pete:Yes.

The All-Star game should NOT be for W.S. home field advantage.
Larry Bowa will be canned this year no matter what.
The NHL will not open the season on time.
Tiger Woods is overrated.
Do NOT assume that a high school player picked number one in the NBA draft will succeed. All the ones that did fell to the low end of the lottery. All those picked high (save Lebron) have been busts. Do the math. Kwame, can you hear me?

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"The June Swoon"
by Peter Murphy
June 6, 2004

Baseball
The Red Sox are playing like it’s October already. Pedro has lost his edge, and will not get that fat contract that he used to talk about. Schilling, Manny and Ortiz are doing their part, but it looks like the Yankees have them outgunned. Will the return of NoMas make a difference? Let’s hope the Red Sox don’t get too complacent and lose out on the wild card. Red Sox in postseason is always memorable (in that you will never struggle to recall if they won the World Series or not) The irony so far: Red Sox fans thought the dinger off Wakefield (that just landed) was the worst that Aaron Boone could do to the Sox. His foolish injury lead the Yanks to A-Rod, who has proven to be a stud in the Yankee lineup, making Yankee fans forget former stud Derek Jeter.

Mets have the look of a heart-breaking .500 tease. The best starting pitching in the five boroughs has kept them close in the parity-filled NL East, but the lineup on paper, and on grass or artificial turf is weak. But will the Mets be mid-season buyers or sellers? We’ll see. Maybe they can pick up Benitez, who until recently had retired 41 straight hitters (his ERA doubled in one at bat to 0.56) for the stretch run.

National League Central: Much like the Red Sox, the Cubs started this year thinking that you start off where you ended last year, in the playoffs. Not so fast. That’s what’s great about sports. You start out where you started, not where you finished. The Cubbies, with major stars injured (SoSo and Prior) find themselves in 5th place!! Even the A-Rod led Rangers never finished that low. Astros are under .500 when Clemens isn’t pitching (which often means he isn’t even at the stadium). Cardinals O is challenging the re-Juniorated Reds for the top spot.

Triple Crown
Yes, Ted Williams won it twice without winning the MVP award, (as did Hack Wilson in 1932). But now I’m talking about horse racing, even though I usually dabble in just human sports. Yes, Smarty Jones found out the hard way what Rich Kotite has known for a long time. Making the jump from the small time of Philadelphia to the Big time in New York is not for sissy small-towners.
Note to People: “People, there is no such thing as a lock when it comes to sports.” All those once-a-year horseracing experts can shut up now.

NBA
At this writing, the NBA finals are one game old. . It’s a rematch of the 1988 NBA finals (one of the best series in history) and the 1989 finals (one of the most boring). Will the youngster be intimidated by the Hall of Famer he’s going up against? Or, will his 9 NBA titles already in bag get him over his nervousness?

Since the modern age of the NBA (1980), no team has won an NBA championship without a Hall of Famer. If you’ve had any one of these 7 players (Magic, Bird, Moses, Isaiah, Michael, Hakeem, Shaq, or Tim Duncan) then you have won a championship in the last 24 years. 7 guys, 24 years, all Hall of Famers (Duncan is on pace). That’s what it takes in this league. A super elite player (throw in sidekicks like Jabbar, McHale, Kobe, and your odds go up).

So my question: Of these next five guys, who is the superstar, and who is the sidekick? Ben Wallace, Richard Hamilton, Rasheed, Taysean, and Chauncy. (Hint: Just because you know who Rasheed, Taysean, and Chauncy are by their first names does NOT put them in the same class as Magic, Bird, Moses, Isaiah, Michael, Hakeem, and Shaq. . . . and Manute). The answer appears below.

Answer: None. Lakers rebound, win in 6!

The Olympics
Enough about dissin’ the NBAers, who after 100 or so games aren’t going to Greece. First of all, every time one backs out, another steps forward. Maybe those that step up are really courageous, yet they get no praise? Actually, the word “courage” is over used. Courage is joining the Rangers (for anything less than $252 million) or publicly dissin’ Eminem, giving him fodder when you know he’s in the middle of writing a song.

Would you go? Would you be scared to go? Is having surgery, a wedding, a rape trial the equivalent of joining the National Guard in drafttime, a way to dodge danger? Enough about the “representing your country”. Many, such as Kevin Garnett, have already gone to the Olympics. It’s not like it was back in 1956, when President Eisenhower asked Bill Russell to delay signing a pro contract until after the Olympics (which was held in November, springtime in Melbourne). It’s a nasty world now. Greece is in or near a bad neighborhood. Cut these guys some slack, put yourselves in their shoes. They’re not some tourist, they’re the freakin’ show, and a big target in more than just height. It’s not like anyone is gonna watch the men’s tournament anyway, or get real psyched when we win.

NHL
I know pro-Hockey is fake, but it’s entertainment. Wait, that’s Pro-wrestling. Hockey only exists because of gambling. Oh, that’s Jai Alai. Well, the Hockey finals are finally done. I was rooting for the Flames, as underdogs, who almost clinched in game 6 with a late-3rd period goal. And the point of referees looking at replays of close calls was what? Not since the “fumble” (known in New England as the “tuck”) have we seen such an important blown call. With a Flames win, all those American chants of “Nineteen Ninetythree” could have ended. With the 2002 Olympic win, Canada would already have 2 hockey successes this short century! I guess the Gods thought that’s 1 too many?

NFL Quarterbacks
What are the Giants thinking. They run Collins out of town to replace him with Warner? All this to help groom Eli? Or are they trying to win now with the Ex-MVP? And what’s up with Testaverde in Dallas. I guess we shouldn’t have believed that Quincy C. was a Parcells guy. Maybe Testaverde can back up Drew Henson. And what is Collins gonna do in Oakland. Is he willing to wait all those years from now until Rich Gannon calls it quits? Talk about patience. Kordell Stewart to the Redskins? Why is this guy still employed? What’s up with that? Good thing they have Brunell. I guess in the NFC east, I’ll be rooting for McNabb. I want him to succeed for some reason.

Notre Dame
Rest in Peace, Gipper!

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"April Showers"
by Peter Murphy
April 26, 2004

April has potential to be an exciting sports month given the usual schedules, and this year has lived up to the hype. From the beginnings of baseball, to the hoop and hockey playoffs, to the wrap-up of the NCAA tournament, to the NFL draft.

But first, the Pat Tillman story:
Even though we see the nightly news, with an American military person or two dying on the average day, most in their young 20s, the Tillman story shocked us, even non-Sports fans. Even though I can’t recall ever seeing him play, or actually even hearing about him until he joined the Rangers, I felt a pit in my stomach. While everyone is careful to say that every soldier’s death is tragic, the death of Pat Tillman is different for the simple fact that no one can imagine having the balls to trade in a 7-figure pay day and volunteer for the armed forces. Most people wouldn’t even consider for two seconds taking a cut in pay, let alone a drastic one, and let far alone join a dangerous fight, the most dangerous type of fighting in the U.S. army. And think of all the moaning about the cost of the Iraq war, meanwhile not many are even willing to support an income tax increase to pay for the military operation. Yeah, there are very few Pat Tillman’s.

Other than John McCain and Nelson Mandela, who turned down early release from prison on principal, most people don’t know of anyone who would have the courage of a Pat Tillman. In recent sports history, only actions by Muhammad Ali and Buffalo Bill lineman Bob Kalsu, both over 30 years ago, come close. That’s what is striking about Pat Tillman. He’s called a hero because of the relative non-heroism of the average person. If any good comes out of this, aside from greater appreciation for the average soldier, I hope it’s that people like Kellen Winslow the 2nd, and Simeon Rice can become less clueless, and that we hear less from them in the future.

NFL DRAFT
Eli Manning, you’re such a Manning. Except you’re smart enough to let daddy do your talking. Remember the whining out of Peyton when he finished second for the Heisman? Complaining that people were against him because of all the hype. Now Eli threatens to hold up the Chargers, and basically puts Kerry Collins out of a job.

However, I’m merely complaining about the way he went about it. But put yourselves in his shoes. You’re coming out of college, sumo cum whatever, highly sought after, and you’re forced to work for the Acme 8-track tape company, located in Pittsburgh. You’d say “ ‘k-that ”. You couldn’t imagine being forced to give up control of your career or your right to work in the city of your choice. Yeah, it’s pro sports, and they get paid a lot, but most people would do whatever they could to find the right job, and it’s not up to you to decide where Eli should play. He doesn’t owe you crap! Elway took heat for the same sort of punk-maneuvering, and Magic Johnson took heat for getting his coach fired. If they have the power to do it, let them use it. Let’s end this plantation mentality that the owners and the league are in control. They need the players as much as the players need them.

Now, it seems like the guy is being a little over-hyped, just because his brother was a co-MVP. He’s probably not worth two first rounders, a 3rd and a 5th. Giants probably overpaid, and can write off this season from the get-go. Collins is not gonna be able to give his all, and take the pounding knowing that every fumble, interception, and bad pass will result in a cascade of boos, and “we want Eli” chants from the Giant unfaithful.

Speaking of the owner’s control, isn’t Larry Fitzgerald (3rd overall draft pick), about 2 months older than Maurice Clarrett, who is too young to play for the NFL, according the league’s Supreme Court pleading? What a joke. The obvious agenda is that they don’t want to get screwed like the NBA owners, who keep misreading potential in some of these high school draft picks. And the NCAA cooperates by making ineligible anyone un-drafted who has contracted with an agent. Let’s see, someone wants to come back to school (and possibly get a degree), and the NCAA puts obstacles in their way? Good one.

NBA

Most of the higher seeds are holding serve. But they have to get rid of this silly 7 game format for the first round. Does anyone really need to see game 4 of Pacers-Celtics, or Knicks-Nets. My pick is Detroit over Minnesota in the finals.
Since when does making the 8th seed in the playoffs trump coming in 10th in the Rookie-of-the Year balloting? Face it ‘Melo fans. LeBron is better, and will continue to get better. He has more upside than ‘Melo, who isn’t doing so hot in the post-season now that Gerry McNamara no longer has his back.
Ron Artest suspended for . . . . not fighting. I thought that when the Knicks blew the 1998 playoffs to the Heat when 7 of their players, including Starks and Ewing were suspended, that the league would change this silly rule. The rule should be changed to something like “contributing to mayhem” or “swinging a fist”, not “standing up from your seat on the bench, and curiously walking a few steps on to the court without reaching the fight”. Maybe this time.
I miss Hubie Brown’s TV commentary. Hopefully, the networks give him a run as soon as his over-achieving Grizzlies get bounced.
The Lennie Wilkens gets fired count is about to begin. It’s clear he isn’t up for the job anymore. Especially with Isaiah looking over his shoulder and calling the shots. Again, it comes down to ownership. Hiring Layden, keeping him as long as they did, now giving control to Zeke (how are the Pacers doing without him now?), etc. The team needs a new owner before it makes any more trades, or other moves.

UCONNCAA

Poor Duke (men). Once they saw how lousy Georgia Tech was in the finals, they must have been kicking themselves for blowing the game to UCONN. Tactical mistakes in the middle of the game, and then some clutch choking at the end.
How about having the UCONN men play the UCONN women in a game. I wonder what the score would be. Would the women score at all? Could the UCONN women beat an average Division III team? I’ve heard the intramural studs who scrimmage the UCONN women are told not to block shots, run the break, or dunk while playing the women, so we know that certain natural physical advantages are acknowledged. I’d like to know what do you think?

Please hit the feedback button,
and answer this question:
Assuming Calhoun’s UCONN men were encouraged to dominate, what would the score be for a 40-minute game between the UCONN men vs. UCONN women. Go ahead, make yourself heard. It’s free.

NHL

Unless a New York team is involved, or it’s the finals, or someone is assaulted or dies, then I don’t have much interest. Mike Danton, the ex and future Devil, just doesn’t do it for me (since it was only conspiracy to commit murder). Wake me up in June.

MLB

Yankees-Red Sox rivalry has legs now in April, let’s hope that it lasts all summer. It would be interesting if they fight it out for the wild card, subordinate to the Orioles. I’d still give the Yankees the upper hand, on the assumption that their pitching is good enough once those bats get going. There’s no way the Bombers remain busters for the whole season.
Bonds will break Aaron’s record. He’s too hot, too strong, too disciplined. He may even catch Ruth this year, and after that, there’s only 42 more to reach Aaron. He has no reason to retire being so close (unless there is daily mandatory drug testing).
The biggest surprise of the new season? No, not how bad Larry Bowa is as a manager, since we already knew that. Not Pedro’s waning dominance. Not Art Howe’s lack of fire in the belly, and fire (or fuel) in the lineup. It’s that Roger Clemens was such a good hitter. He’s into “helping his own cause”, and is 4-0 for a competitive Astros team.
And I’m already backtracking on my pre-season pick of Joe Torre for manager of the year. Why so soon? Well, a quote of a reliable baseball insider has proven that the “king” of all managers is really wearing no clothes.

Joe Torre, in his own words:

After Friday night’s 11-2 thumping by the BoSox, but before the awful 4 hits in 12 innings of Saturday “I wish I had a magic formula” Torre said, “but other than writing out the lineup and keeping the mood light, there’s nothing I can tell them that they don’t already know.”

And in Spring Training this year: ”This is probably the best lineup of any baseball team I’ve seen in my 40+ years in baseball.”

And while setting his rotation before last season’s playoffs (with Wells, Pettite, and Clemens): “They’re all so good, I could really just pick the names out of a hat.”

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
by Peter Murphy
March 19, 2004

As the song says, this is the most wonderful time of the year. Baseball’s pre-season is heating up, the NBA is in full swing, and the NCAA tournament is upon us. The only thing that would make it better is if St. Patrick’s Day had been on a Thursday or Friday, which would have given parade-goers an excuse to hang out in a bar at 12:30 eastern, and watch wall-to-wall hoops.

And so what if that the song is really about the Christmas Season?

NCAA Hoops

As of the sweet 16, the tournament has been pretty good so far. A lot of close games, and even a couple of upsets. Although don’t call Manhattan over Florida an upset. Florida, voted #1 in December, had been tanking for months. And Manhattan has stepped it up a bit as far as NYC amateur hoops is concerned, what with the abdication of St. John’s from the throne. Look for Manhattan to take over the top spot as soon as Sebastian Telfair graduates from Lincoln High School.
6 of the top 11 teams as of last Monday’s final AP poll have been eliminated, including top dogs Stanford and Kentucky. But what do sportswriters know anyway. Now this is not sour grapes just because I was dropped from the select group of writers who actually get polled (after continuously referring to St. John’s as the “Redmen”, instead of the sanitized “Red Storm”). It’s a testament to the strength of mid-major teams, who are usually underestimated.
Most fantastic finish so far: Vanderbilt vs NC State. NC State failed to regroup after a steal-intentional foul with about 2 minutes left. A win by the Wolfpack would have given the ACC 4 sweetsixteeners.
Even though it killed my pool bracket, it was hard to be disappointed to see Stanford and Kentucky get dumped. I suppose Mike Montgomery and Tubby Smith owe Billy Packer an apology, after Packer went out on a limb and said that these 2 teams deserved their number one seedings. I love seeing the look on the faces of the number one seeds who come up short. They act “shocked” that someone else could actually beat them. Poor Tubby Smith, though. It is now six years since his team cut down all the nets, and with this new designation of “Number one overall”, there’s gonna be a lot of people back home in Hoop-crazy Kentucky who are gonna want to see him get fired.
Speaking of my bracket, I am proud to say that I did not automatically put Gonzaga in the sweet 16 like most of you hype-believers, just because of some historical upsets. My pride dissipates, however, if pressed on why, I keep saying “I predicted that the winner of the Michigan-State vs. Nevada game would beat Gonzaga”.
Syracuse, if it can handle Alabama, is headed for a rubber match with Big East rival Connecticut. Cuse dominated the Huskies in a late-season rematch, playing as if it was a must win. Now Syracuse fans must be apologizing to God after what must have been going through their minds after a quick exit from the Big East tourney a week ago. But the reality is that the early out allowed the team to regroup, practice, rest, heal, and study for midterms, while Pittsburgh and UConn battled it out with 3 games in 3 days. Syracuse fans, however, should have better perspective. When we say “tournament”, we mean NCAA. Winning a conference tournament is not as important. Period. Last year, lead by true Freshman Gerry McNamara, who just scorched BYU for 43 points in round 1, the Orangemen won the big Ceili after having failed to even reach the Big East final. Maybe G-Mac can carry the Boeheims to take yet another drink from Lord Stanley’s cup!
Of the conferences that have a 10 at the end of their names (two of which actually have 11 members, so much for the sanctity of academia), would anyone have guessed at the beginning of the season that the Atlantic 10 (Xavier, St. Joe’s), would have had more teams in the 16 than the Big 10 and Pac 10 combined? What happened to these once-dominant conferences?
My revised final four. Duke, Pittsburgh, Connecticut, and Kansas.

NHL

Todd Bertuzzi: Cry me a river, you big ass. I don’t want to hear after the fact that he only meant to cause cheek swelling, and perhaps sore ribs. And hockey fans, shut up about how the league has “done everything it can to reduce fighting”. How about retroactively suspend or fine cheap-shot artists on a regular basis, so there are fewer on-ice retaliations needed? How about suspensions for fighting, as in baseball…or ejections, as in the NBA? Not just when someone ends up in the hospital. Didn’t we go through this a few years ago with Marty McSorley? What if Bertuzzi killed someone? Would hockey fans and the league still say that there should be no charges filed? Maybe make the players all sign a waiver stating that they don’t mind getting pummeled inside the ring? Otherwise, if it was me or you, in a bar fight, and we accidentally sent someone to the hospital, or broke someone’s neck, we’d be doing time in the Statesville prison. I can’t wait ‘til the sport is shut down next fall. At least there will be fewer fights.

NBA

Midwest division has a shot at having all of its teams finish above .500. This is unheard of, and an astounding achievement. Will it pay off with an NBA championship for the division?
Perhaps not, as Minnesota, the top team so far, has yet to win a playoff round in its history.
Nets: I think their two year dynasty as NBA runner-up is in jeopardy, especially if Kidd isn’t on his game. Funny, you don’t hear too much about what’s-his-name anymore, now that the winning streak to start a career has ended. I’m surprised the league orchestrated the end of the streak though, forcing the Nets to play a western conference team.
Lenny Wilkens: It won’t be deserved, and it’s a shame, but I fear this gentleman of the game is eventually gonna get canned by the Diva who runs the Knicks. Wilkens, who is Irish on his mother’s side, is the only NBA Hall-of-Famer inducted as both a player and a coach. He was the only one who could guard Bob Cousy back in the 60’s. But don’t get me wrong. Isaiah has breathed some life into the floundering franchise, so it’s too early to be calling for the Knicks to rehire Scott Layden. Rumor is, Layden’s gonna end up as the Rangers GM.

NFL

Terrell Owens: In a way, it’s a shame to see how this worked out, how he wound up with the team that he wanted, and a shot at the big cash. It would have been fun to see the type of heckling this guy would have gotten in opposing stadiums if he lost $10 million or so. His agent dodged a bullet. This happened 2 years ago to an NBA player, in reverse. The player became a free agent when he failed to exercise an option, and had to go elsewhere and the market determined he deserved a big pay cut.
The NFC East will now be interesting, with Philly making a bid to stay on top (Jevon Kearse joins the D); Big expectations for the skins with Gibbs down in DC, as if he were Phil Jackson or something; and the reunion of Tuna with “KeySean” Johnson. The Giants could be in trouble. I can’t exactly figure the KeySean deal though, and not because of his selfish attitude, but more because he’s getting $5 million per year, when his market value couldn’t have been that high. He’s no longer a young receiver, and was facing early retirement.
6 High Schoolers signed up for the NFL draft. None of them were on the blue chip college recruit list. This fact presents a paradox. Clearly these people need some learnin’. A college education could help. But are these the type of fools colleges should be taking in as students? Do college coaches want guys this full of themselves on their teams? I’m sure the NFL coaches don’t. Underclassmen in college, such as Clarrett, or Fitzgerald and Williams may be ready for the NFL, but other than Herschel Walker, I can’t recall any high schooler who has had any business being in the NFL.

Baseball

Although it’s really too early for baseball, the prospect for the Commissioner to increase steroid testing by challenging the collective bargaining agreement is intriguing. Selig will be out soon, and is probably looking for some legacy-boosting action.

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Winter Potpourri
by Peter Murphy
February 20, 2004

NFL

Janet Jackson: Bottom line, this bitch got some network or NFL halftime supervisor fired. Is she sorry for that? Selfish bitch. Thanks to her, next year’s halftime show is gonna be a Pat Bonne family reunion. Otherwise, the game was pretty good since it was close, but notable failures (coaching, kicking, streaking) tainted it from being one of the all-time best.
Let’s calm down about Tom Brady being the equal of Joe Montana. Counting the tuck as a fumble, he’s 3-1 in the post-season. He moved a team 40 yards vs. the prevent after the gift kick-atta-bounds. Vinatieri was 1 for 3 in FG’s. Let’s give credit where it really belongs: The coaching staff. The plays they drew up in the red zone baffled the young Carolina side for easy TDs, plays that could not fail. Belichick did it all year, making good moves time after time. He’s now had 4 good seasons in 9 as a head coach. Of course, he of all coordinators, and Buddy Ryan, were the real reasons those teams were successful, so lets give him credit there too. But the real heroes are the unsung bit players on the Pats, guys like Dan Klecko, David Givens, Christian Fauria, Steve Feeley, Larry Izzo, Matt Chatham . . . and the rest. Give them some props.
Maurice Clarett: Isn’t he bigger than half the running backs in the league? He’s 5-10, 240, let him get his ass-kicked. Let some NFL team screw up their team betting on a kid. But don’t tell me you’re protecting the kids. NFL players get slaughtered, shot up, and banged around. Look at Earl Campbell now, he’s like 50, and can’t walk. The real loser is the NCAA, but screw them, the greedy bastards.

PITCHERS and SHORTSTOPS

The A-Rod deal. Ridiculous! This would have been okay if they traded Jeter for A-Rod, which of course wouldn’t happen due to salary considerations. The Rangers are a total joke, and will finish in 4^th again. How do they end up paying as much of A-Rod’s contract for three years as the Yankees do for 7 years? How awful of a deal is that. The “tremendous flexibility” they get now doesn’t make sense. They’re still picking up a huge tab for A-Rod, and what are they gonna do, sign a hot pitcher for $10 million, and resign Soriano, who is clearly not as good as A-Rod? Or are they gonna let Soriano go too. Is Soriano gonna end up back on the Yankees in a couple of years?

Handing the Yankees the World Series trophy in February is a little like walking into a store that does NOT have a sign saying that shoplifters will be prosecuted: Very tempting. I will go out on a limb though, and give Joe Torre the manager of the year award. Runner-up is whoever manages the team that wins the AL Central. But realistically, those who point to the Marlins and Angels as champs, and claim that the Yankees pitching is suspect are missing the point. First of all, what team has a better 10-man pitching staff than the Yankees? Not the traditional Diamondbacks and Braves. The Red Sox? It’s comparable, but no clear cut advantage. The Cubs? Yeah, weren’t they 1-3 vs. Marlins with Wood and Pryor? When you play the Yanks, what inning do you breathe a sigh of relief? Just say, you get passed Lofton and Jeter, then you gotta pitch to Sheffield, Giambi, A-Rod? Then you have Bernie Williams, Hideki Matsui and Jorge Posada as the 6-7-8 hitters. That’s night after night, and in all games of a playoff round, They will outscore the hell out of everyone they face, pitching won’t matter as much.

Now who out there isn’t imagining a scene with Brian Cashman in a pin-striped suit, with gangster hat ordering his goons to hold down Aaron Boone, and then asking the hapless guy which knee he wants to get clubbed. “Now Aaron, the story is that you were playing hoops, alright? You got it, or do you want me to slip you the convincer?”

The silver lining in all this? The Red Sox had their chance to get the same guy, and passed. Now they complain about how there should be a salary cap. Meanwhile, the Sox are the 2^nd highest paying team. How hypocritical is that? 100 years from now, they will have forgotten Babe Ruth, but will still be grumbling about A-Rod.

NBA

I don’t know which is a bigger curse, being a member of the Jackson family, or being named Jayson Williams. Remember when NJ High School blue chip-cum-Dukie Jason Williams was predicting how he would surpass the other JW’s, ya know, the big mouth clown-rebounder turned-murderer on the Nets, and the behind the back-turnover machine that played high school hoops with Randy Moss?
Lebron is not Tiger Woods. He’s not even Magic Johnson. He wasn’t on the all-star squad, and that’s not a crime. Shut up already! What happens in a couple of years when there’s a new High School stud, and Lebron and Melo are 3^rd of 4^th yr players who’ve gone nowhere in the NBA post-season. Is that what it will take to end the hype? Just different hype?
The Knicks and Nets. I guess Byron Scott wasn’t that good after all? He was not liked by the players, and had to go. Jason Kidd, yet again, shows his true character (lack of) by loafing through half a season, despite the big buck contract. Yet, Scott was nothing before Kidd arrived, and nothing now. He took them to 2 finals, but the east was weak as everyone knows. The Knicks remind me of gym class. Different teams every day. But they could make a serious run . . . . at the 2^nd round of the playoffs. Isaiah Thomas is making moves, but over the long term, they still need a stud upfront.

THE LAW (A new recurring section?)

St. Johns: If this “deal with a hooker gone bad” isn’t evidence enough that they need to pay college hoopsters, then I don’t know what is. Why should a scholar-athlete have to steal sex? That’s the true crime.
Colorado Buffaloes football. That program has been shady for years, even under Promise-Breaker Bill McCartney. Neuheisel, now Barnett, have no control. The University of Colorado is in a showdown with downstate neighbor, the Air Force Academy, to see who can treat women worse.
Kobe: The dude will walk. Let’s move on already.
Steroids. Too bad George Bush didn’t do anything about this when he was an owner. I can’t wait for one of these drug pushers to turn state’s evidence. Either way, there will be undeniable evidence of cheating, like Bonds, Giambi, and then every time they have success, a portion of the media will harp on it. McGwire was right to retire before the poop hit the propeller.

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Mid Winter Night's Musings
by Peter Murphy
January 20, 2003

NBA BASKETBALL

Knicks are heating up, and are undefeated since Herb Williams was replaced as interim HC of NYK. But what the Knicks resurgence means, is that the 2-time defending eastern conference (aka, junior varsity) champion Nets are now buried in the sports section. This is sad, and it will get worse if the team is sold and is moving to Newark or Brooklyn. No one cares now, unless the Knicks or Lebron James is in town. Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin: not enough to draw fans out on a cold night. They would be wise to move completely to a new city where they will be appreciated, San Jose perhaps, or somewhere else that doesn’t have a team, Atlanta or Chicago maybe.
Lebron. Okay, so he’s good for a kid. He’s the Freddie Adu and Michelle Wie of basketball. He proved he belongs in the NBA. But he will regret not going to college. At least Carmelo Anthony has something to fall back on.
The Lakers. I guess without Kobe, Shaq and Malone, the Lakers are just a below-average team. When I cornered ex-genius and best-selling author Phil Jackson about this, he calmly suggested, “I guess this proves how over-rated Gary Payton is”.

NCAA BASKETBALL

Well, I hate to say I told you so, but isn’t it amazing how . . . . Huh, what? Oh, it’s not March yet, and nobody gives a shit? Never mind. See you in 2 months.

BASEBALL

Some Pete Rose observations:

Lifetime ban? Whose lifetime? Bart Giamatti’s. Baseball continues to screw this up. If they said with finality at any time in the last 14 years that he was toast, we wouldn’t have to go through this annual debate of whether he’ll get in or not. Last time I checked, Shoeless Joe was also Lifeless Joe, and he’s still not eligible for the hall. But, no, we have to suffer through it, over and over. End it. He’s in or he’s out, but decide already. Don’t let him do the all-century team, but bar him from the final game at Riverfront Stadium.
If Pete had a lawyer doing the talking for him, he’d be in the HOF by now, because this country is too big-hearted to have no second acts (unless you murder your wife and a waiter). Rose is showing his limited intelligence on the interview circuit. He just doesn’t know what to say to help his case. Contradictions abound, and the arrogance shows through. That, in the end, will screw him.
And what’s up with all this debate, anyway. If he admits betting on baseball, if he shows remorse, and contrition, then he’s in? Or, if he’s smart enough and phony enough to apologize and cry in front of Diane Sawyer (the hottest newswoman in the 55-60 year old category), then we’ll let him back in? That’s crap. The crime is what should govern this, not whether an apology satisfies your standards.
The Hall of Fame should change its criteria. Cut this crap about character. It’s subjective. Character is what got Mo Vaughan the MVP in 1995 over the hated Albert Belle. Character? Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth . . . any owner or league official who voted against allowing Jackie Robinson to play for Brooklyn (Charles Comiskey, Connie Mack, Judge Landis), all these guys are in the HOF, and they don’t appear to be much better than Rose.

Hall of Fame:
Eckersley and Molitor are worthy, but what about Jim Rice? Look at some of the recent hall selections. Robin Yount, Don Sutton, Tony Perez. I’m sick of these accumulators who weren’t difference-makers ease in on the first ballot. Rice was a feared bat for over a decade, won an MVP, close in 2 others. Yount, a 3-time all-star. How the hell is a 3-time all-star in the HOF? The fans only pick the starting 8, that means of the approximately 8 other hitting positions, he was only selected by managers and coaches 3 times in over 20 years? That’s crap. Gary Carter and the original Pudge had to sweat it out for years, and they dominated their positions for over a decade, called the games, survived behind the plate.

George Brett, 3000 hits, legit long-time all star. Yount and his 3,000 hits ain’t the same. As a result, they’ll have to let Palmeiro in too. At least Palmeiro has been a consistent threat over a long time, many HR’s and RBIs or RBI, I don’t care which. Who’s next, Fred McGriff?

Roger Clemens:
I guess he’s a Hall of Famer, but what about character? (or as the Wolf says, “just because you are a character, doesn’t mean you have character”). Yes, yes, we know he’s not in David Wells’ class, cause Wells actually agreed verbally to re-up with the Yankees. I guess Yankee fans are learning what Bosox and Blue Jay fans learned the hard way. Clemens is all about Clemens.

NFL FOOTBALL:

The Playoffs so far have been interesting, with almost all games close (except for the defeats of Denver and Dallas). Somehow this has all been overshadowed by the Joe Gibbs hiring. That basically puts the Senators (I’m unilaterally naming them something less offensive) right back at the top of the NFC East. No word yet on whether he’s planning to hire Dexter Manley when he gets out of prison this April.

Back to the playoffs: Once again, several myths have been conquered:

Peyton Manning doesn’t suck. At least not all the time.
Dick Vermeil is not similar to Bill Parcells. He’s more of a Marty Schottenheimer.
Jason Sehorn is the best white defensive back in the league. Actually, we now know he’s the worst. It was nice to see some other team suffer to figure that out.
Mike Martz is not a good coach. Oh, wait, that’s been done to death. How can this man say with a straight face that he didn’t go for broke in regulation vs. the Panthers because he felt he would win in overtime. Overtime. Where about half the games are decided by who wins the coin toss. However, before you get all high-horsy on us: what he was afraid of was having Mark “I’m better than Kurt Warner” Bulger throw a really bad pick. Which of course is what happened in overtime. At least his interception wasn’t as bad as Brett Favre’s (see below).
Brett Favre’s father is guiding his son on a mystical journey to the Super Bowl. The only link between the Favre’s and Houston is. . . . .. wait, . . . . his pass just landed on Andy Pettite’s house.
Bill Belichick is sometimes wrong. Well at least not yet anyway. He was mocked when he left the Jets for the uncertainty of the Patriots back in 2000. He was questioned for not putting up with Terry Glenn’s shit in 2001, because they had no better receiver. He was questioned for not bringing back Bledsoe. (Bledsoe would have re-tucked before fumbling, thus giving John Gruden’s Raiders the Super Bowl victory, I think). He got heat for dumping Lawyer Milloy, team captain. Stop bettin’ against the guy. Swear allegiance to him, do whatever he says, he’s got the Midas touch.
Boston has the worst sports fans. Nope, it’s Philadelphia. They hated Mike Schmidt, now they’re turning on their beloved or behated Eagles. At least the Buffalo Bills’s fans were optimists. Philly is a miserable city, with miserable fans and they get what they deserve.

Super Bowl Predictions:

The game won’t get here soon enough. Possibly the most boring match-up up ever will be done to death for two weeks.
The TV ads will get racier and racier. I can’t wait until the Super Bowl is on HBO, if you know what I mean. And if you watch the games just for the commercials, don’t admit it, cause that would make you a loser.
Monday, February 2^nd, 40% of the post-game discussion in the office will be on how much Super Bowl box $$ changed hands when an extra point was blocked, or when so-and-so stepped out of bounds at the 1 yard line just before the 3^rd quarter, pushing a touchdown into the fourth quarter.
4,000 times during the game, we will hear how much the Pats players don’t really suck, that they have talent, and some bullshit about team work, and schemes.
Pats will win 20-10.
Tom Brady will screw up the post-game “I’m going to Disney World” speech, and will be incessantly asked what he meant by “Satan, can I please have my soul back?”

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“Another Year Wiser”
by Peter Murphy
December 29, 2003

Has there ever been an uneventful year in sports? Of course not, so I won’t even bother writing my usual and much-awaited annual recap of the wacky events of the year. No, December 2003 had enough crap to sift through on its own.

College football
Well, this could be an exciting finish, but no matter what, there will be some unanswered questions. Like, why are referees out to get Corporal Kellen Winslow? Alright, it’s the BCS again. But before you start nodding, “You tell ‘em Murph!”, let’s check it out: The BCS has failed to do away with disputed national football championships, again, and the computers are definitely screwed up, yes. But pre-BCS, we would probably be stuck with . . . USC-Michigan in the Rose Bowl? And since Kansas State walked off with the Big 12 title, they might have ended up in the Orange or Cotton Bowl. That would leave SEC champ LSU in the Sugar Bowl, playing . . . . Oklahoma? Now people bitch about the BCS because of what happened to USC, but USC is just a team that 8 more writers and coaches somewhere think is the number one team than think LSU is number one. You have 3 one-loss teams that have played well all year. What would have been so damn fair about USC-Oklahoma, or USC-LSU. Either way, someone was screwed. I wish everyone would stop acting like USC was head and shoulders above everyone else. True, an eight-team playoff is acknowledged as the fool-proof method to end the mess, having the best teams fight it out on the field, but leave the BCS out of it, it’s still holds out the promise of number 1 vs 2 at the end.

But even still, what is so bad about this year’s possibility of dual claims of #1? Is that worse than in 1991, 1994 and 1997, when there were two undefeated major conference teams that couldn’t face off in a bowl due to their conference’s affiliation with the Rose. And in 1994, Penn State, featuring Kerry Collins, wasn’t even given a share. What was so fair about that?

If anything, the BCS has ruined the 25 other bowls, with the emphasis on a college super Bowl, no one cares about the others anymore.

Hot Stove League
If you don’t know this refers to off-season baseball, then skip down to the next section. There has been a lot of activity, but almost all of it in the AL East, which may cannibalize itself out of a wild card. There could be even more moves in the AL East, if Vlad Guerrero winds up at Camden Yards. The A-Rod scenario is interesting, cause the Rangers need to move on and market A-Rod for the 2004 campaign. Meanwhile, the Boston Curses definitely improved their team with Schilling and Foulke (the gruntled) to go along with Nomar and Manny (the disgruntled). The Yankees may have taken a step forward with Brown, Lofton, and Sheffield, but have definitely taken a step back when it comes to playoff guts and moxie. They have turned their back on those that were most responsible for their recent post-season success. There may come a time next October when the Yankees regret not having . . . . . . Karim Garcia and Don Zimmer, two of the feistiest, nastiest, beat-the-shit-out-of-grounds-crew and get-body-slammed-by-a-guy-32/70ths-of-your-age guys to ever wear pinstripes.

NFL Two-minute drill:

But for the last weekend, the 2003 campaign lacked late-season drama. The bubble teams were boring, but due to good teams losing to bad teams, playoff positions and home-field advantages were shuffled throughout December. The AFC 2^nd round and championship could be very good, while in the NFC, only the championship (now at Philly) holds much promise. Seattle? Carolina? Dallas? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Maybe Green Bay as a sentimental favorite, although I would have liked to have seen the Vikings get in. Their choke in the finale proves the NFL is fixed. It was completely ridiculous, and was also reminiscent of Jim Fassel’s first Giant campaign, when the Gints blew an insurmountable lead at home in a wild-card game to, ironically, the Vikings.
Jamal Lewis. When will they learn? Don’t try to set a record in a meaningless game if you’re heading to the playoffs. The once-proud Steelers were not about to let a running back pound his way to the all-time rushing record. He should have rested for the wild-card round, and not rushed 27 times for personal glory. Football above the other major sports is a team game with team goals.
Endzone celebrations: Now the league is fining people for mocking people that stage embarrassing end-zone celebrations. The league should not fine, but throw a penalty flag on the spot. 5 yards on the kickoff for taunting, and an extra 10 yards if the antics aren’t that funny. And the TV networks should stop pontificating about these clowns, all the while promoting them by showing clip after clip on the news and highlight shows (click here for REAL VIDEO^TM of Joe Horn’s cell phone antics).
Jim Fassel: Is anyone in New York gonna miss this guy’s press conferences? He repeated the same 3 over and over. There was the late-game collapse and turnover-filled post-game. The mid-week challenge. And the proud of the way we played victory version. Doesn’t the blame really lie in the front office who overpaid for Strahan, Tiki, and Ron Dayne, and didn’t have enough cash left for blocking and special teams.
The Patriots: I still say that was a fumble, not a tuck. Yeah, me and five billion others. Maybe they can win one that counts this year.
Joe Namath: A very good player on the field, but a legend for his off the field exploits (with the hunnies). Now, he’s taken his “hunnies” act on to the field. But why on a SATURDAY night? If he waited two more days, he could have been hitting on Lisa Guerrero!

The NBA
Finally! After using these pages to refer to him as “in over his head”; “soon to be-ex”; “Incompetent”; “Outgoing”; and “Clueless”; we can finally use the prefix that we’ve been dying to use: Former Knick GM finally got his due. To be fair, however, he did get screwed by the Dolan clan, because of the precedent that was set: Usually someone responsible for this much destruction, misery and thievery (technically, when he cashed his paycheck, it constituted larceny) gets 6-month warning, and time to grow a beard and dig a spider hole. But alas, hiring the ever-unpopular Isaiah Thomas is no solution. Despite picking up his first copy of Forbes Magazine in 1980 while a student at Indiana University, he has yet to prove himself as a success in business. Maybe the Knicks should have hired someone with more experience. Steve Phillips or Glen Sather would have been improvements over Layden.

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Mid-Indian Summer Musings
November 29, 2003
By Peter Murphy

This is the time of year when football and the early hot-stove rumblings dominate the sports scene. Hockey and hoops are too fresh for the games to be of import, and the beginning of college hoop season. Yawwwwwwwwwwwn! Everyone knows the real fun of the college hoop season is after the tournament when all the coaching scandals come to the surface.

College football: The BCS system still sucks, and only truly works when there are exactly two undefeated teams. If there is only one undefeated team, then at least that team will make the championship game. Otherwise, it boils down to the top one of 5 or so one-loss teams, which are still determined largely by the polls. When the bowls and the networks can work out a plausible playoff system, the NCAA will follow along. Compared to the BCS, I’d rather have the old system where the top 8 teams played in regional bowls, and where ND, now known as No D, could jump from 5^th to first with a big New Year’s day win.

Heisman Watch: This is my third year getting a vote, and the first since my Pawlus gaffe in 1994. So much for the ballot being secret. Anyway, I learned my lesson, and the Downtown Athletic Club put me back on the list. Anyway, this is a tough year to pick a winner. There is no clear-cut best player. Should the top player on the #1 team get it? Not by rule, so Jason White is no lock. What about Chris Perry? No, a wolverine can only win if he plays corner or wideout. Eli Manning? Probably not, for the same reason we didn’t let Peyton win. We don’t like the Mannings. Julius Jones? Maybe.

But who says a sophomore can’t win the Heisman. That’s like saying a Japanese leftfielder can’t win the Cy Young Award, or a Tin Man can’t win the Hart Trophy. Larry Fitzgerald (Pittsburgh) is scoring two TD’s per game, and averaging 19 yards per catch. Plus, he has promised that he won’t embarrass the club, and will never be acquitted of double murder.

NFL: AFC races are getting boring, with so many division leaders way out in front, and no weak-sisters will get wild cards this year. But before we anoint the Chiefs as the second coming of the 1969 Chiefs, Tennessee, Indy and New England have played just as well over the last two months. Should make for an interesting January.

I just read a book by Bill Tuna called “My Last Year In the NFL”, a diary of the Jets’ 1999 season. Hmmm. The Patron Saint of hopeless causes is at it again, although I predict Dallas is going nowhere, a first round playoff loss if they even get that far. I say this because Philly is heating up and will run away with the division. Philadelphia and St. Louis will dominate the NFC, and St. Louis’ offensive juggernaut will get them back to the big game, down in wherever it is this year. Tuna will get some votes for coach of the year again, but Marvin Lewis (Bengals) has it locked up.

I wouldn’t count the Buccaneers out yet, because I think Seattle, Green Bay, Minnesota and Dallas are inherently weak, and could choke down the stretch. The Keyshawn incident may have woken up the Bucs, who give the Giants a run for the money in the category of snatching defeat from the rectum of victory.

Keyshawn: Just give me the damn microphone! Johnson could be finished as a player, since it’s likely he would view any offer in the range of his actual market value as insulting. Plus, all reports indicate that he has managed his affairs well enough to not need the money from the NFL anymore. He’s a hustler, with good hands, blocks well and can catch the ball. But without speed, no one is going to waste much cash on him, especially given that he brings that big mouth to the sideline. Dear Fox Sports: Please do not give him a job!! And that goes for you too, ESPN!

Zo: How could the Nets have spent that much in uninsured, guaranteed scratch without giving the guy a physical? Was it really only to trick Jason “nobody smacks my babe but me” Kidd into re-upping with the Nets? Rumour has it that Knick sharpie Scott Leyden is trying to deal for Zo, based on how the Van Horn and Mutombo deals have worked. Actually, I’m just kidding. Scott Leyden isn’t still the Knick GM, is he? I haven’t been paying attention, but they canned his ass a long time ago, right?

Zo showed a lot of class though, choosing family and life over basketball and his friends on the Nets. Now Kenyon “my knee, my knee” Martin and Jason “I eat any damn French fry I paid for” Kidd will have to carry more of the Net Class burden.

Hot Stove: As we go to press, the Bosox have just locked up Curt “No Belt” Schilling. They are serious about going toe-to-toe with the Yanks. The trade with the Diamondbacks was announced Friday, and was followed by a series of other announcements. First, the Yankees announced that they had no comment, but then retracted it to announce that since Schilling will be three years older than he was in 2001, that the Yankees would be even more embarrassed the next time he dominates them in post-season play. Andy Pettite’s agent then announced that he will be buying a new car, beach house, Gulfstream Jet and upgrading to a younger wife as soon as he finishes negotiating Pettite’s deal with the now pitching-shy Yankees. Grady Little then announced that if he had Schilling, he would have still kept Pedro in there in the 8^th inning. The Mets announced that they never even considered getting Schilling, since he made some outrageous demands, such as wanting to pitch only every fifth day, and to receive his paycheck via direct deposit.

Steroids: Ah ha!, so the players have been cheating. I just bought a thousand shares of Acme Asterisk Manufacturing Co., and quit my job. Who would have thought that cheating was so widespread? Nothing in the past ten years that happened was real? How am I gonna break this to my kid, who up until now thought that only Sammy Sosa was a dirty filthy cheater. Makes you wonder how things would be if the players were legit, without these performance enhancers. How slow could Jason Giambi really run? How nice would Barry Bonds be? How much dumber could Aaron Boone become if he played au naturel? Maybe Armando Benitez would have only given up dozens of warning track outs if the playing field was level, instead of walk-off taters?

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Baseball Playoffs
October 26, 2003
By Peter Murphy

Wow! That was some month of baseball, greatest post-season overall, perhaps, although would have been cool to see a WS game 7. Five of the seven series went the distance, and there were clutch performances, and cruel “5-outs to go” heartaches aplenty. And in the end, the team neither fans, announcers or networks wanted to see ends up winning with a mere 2.8 runs per game.

Here are my general musings:

Playoff rounds:

The Braves used to feast on the wild-card round, winning 4 straight from 1995-1999. Since then, 0 for 4. Will they continue to get the regulars season bye in the tough NL East? Is Cox a good manager or was that a myth?
“Money-bull”. How much did Billy Beane save when he got a player who forgets to, or doesn’t care to touch home plate? At least, Mets fans, you know it wasn’t all Art Howe’s fault.
Game 4 of Marlins-Giants: Best series (non-World) ending ever. J.T. “Slow” made a nice hit, but Pudge was always a fielder first and hitter second.
The Giants, prior to the playoffs, turned down a make-up regular season game that would have, if they won, installed them as the number one seed in the NL. This would have given them home-ice in a fictitious Giants-Braves NLCS. I applauded them at the time, thinking it wasn’t worth flying coast to coast for a mere shot. What were they thinking? Suck on these stats: Home teams were 18-20, and just 1-3 in series finales. Teams with the extra game lost 5 of the 7 series. Yanks lost 5 of 9 home games throughout the post-season. Hey Jeter, wake “THIS” ghost up (I just pointed down). So much for the All-Star game being important all of a sudden.
The Cubs and Red Sox will NEVER win a championship. Because both teams were 5 outs away from the World Series, and choked yet again, I don’t ever want to hear of their pre-series excitement, and about how this is the year. Remember how it was mapped out, Pedro would go 7-0 in October. Prior and Wood at 4-0 in both the NLCS and WS. Neither team has Schilling and Johnson, who’s success has warped fans sensibilities. You and your teams are cursed! Accept your fate! The happiest fans are those of the White Sox, who at least get disappointed WITHOUT the heartbreak. To end the suffering of Red Sox and Cubs fans, I propose that the next time the owners consider contraction...
Speaking of contraction, the Twins and Marlins were on the short list. Good idea.
The Chicago Police Department has come up with a new crime fighting deck of cards. The deck features a single solitary card. The Ace of Spades is “that $%^&* Cubs fan”.
Don Zimmer: No coach should EVER touch or charge a player. How he wasn’t suspended I’ll never know. Enough said.
The Nobel Prize for science goes to the Yankees after Game 3 at Fenway. In a mere 3 years (since the Piazza beaning), they have discovered that you actually can know what’s in a pitchers mind, and therefore do not need to “take his word for it”. Well, maybe they have a point. My Spanish is a little off, but didn’t Pedro mouth the Spanish words for “Unlike you, I have an empty head”, when pointing to Posada.
Grady Little: Everyone second guessed him by not starting Pedro in game 6 down 3-2. In double dose of irony: He evidently knew that Pedro wasn’t the heartiest of pitchers when making this decision, yet he forgot about it in the key 8^th inning of game 7. McKeon was criticized later for moving up his ace on short rest (although his team was up 3-2 at the time).
Grady Little 2: End the denial. You would NOT have been second guessed if you yanked Pedro after Williams or Matsui. EVERYONE knew that Pedro was out of gas. How come you didn’t?

WORLD SERIES. The end of an Era?

I’ll admit that even I didn’t think the Marlins would win it, right up to and passed the 5-outs-to-go mark in Game 6. I have seen just too many times teams with weak closers blow late leads in post-season. Imagine Urbina pitched the 9^th? That could be the difference in the Yankees 4-championships in 8-year run, matching the last true dynasties 4 for 8 mark (Islanders, in any 8 consecutive years starting after 1975, and ending before 1988). You can’t say the Yankees never quit. Other teams don’t quit either, they just have to face Mariano Rivera at the end. Can you imagine the Yankees post-season record without Rivera these last 7 years? Or if Rivera was on their opponent’s team? Grady Little would have had Rivera in to start the eighth inning, and the curse would have been lifted. Marlins would have won game 4 in regulation without having to ruin Jeff Weaver’s career. Paul O’Neill would still be up, with an 0-2 count.

The Marlins were a great story. Best managerial move ever! Best in-season turnaround ever. Best drunken celebration on an opponent’s home field ever, although I think pissing on the monuments was of questionable taste. Should Yankee fans also be gunning for the “Cubs fan”? Yankees might have more easily handled the Cubs, perhaps.

The Yankees still had the best roster combination of strong starting, relieving, and offense, but couldn’t pull it off. The Yankees lost with class. That is, aside from Jeff Nelson, Karim Garcia, and the Boss. One of them loses without class, and the other two are classless losers. The Yanks took their medicine, and watched the Marlins prance around after Beckett corralled Posada’s series-ending “blast”.

But what will the Yankees do now? With the retirements of Wells and Clemens, and the likely dumping of Aaron (don’t just tell me I suck, tell me is it my hitting, my fielding or both) Boone and Jeff Weaver, the Yankees payroll will be down to a mere $140 million, a paltry 25% above the nearest competitor. And with all that YES money, that’s a budget gap as big as Schwarzenegger’s, though in a different color ink. The league’s attempt to hold back Yankees spending backfired, as only mid-to-upper teams in the spending rankings were scared of the luxury penalty, and the Yankees will almost certainly succeed in the arm$ race.

The Yankees haven’t won a championship since George W. Bush was a FUNNY joke. Steinbrenner will not let this stand. Yankee management is scared, for 2 reasons. The boss is a maniac, and, most of the others know their success has been because of George and his money, and that if they are canned, their secrets will be exposed.

The Yankees will have to retool, but they already have turned over much of the old roster. Since the 1998-2000 run, the only remaining champions are Posada, Jeter, Williams, Wells, Clemens, Pettite, Nelson and Rivera. Wells and Clemens won’t be back next year. Mussina and Giambi came to New York to get their rings, and Soriano, Contreras, Nick Johnson, and Matsui thought it would be easier to get their rings. Aaron “don’t call me Chambliss” Boone, who is only a holdover until Drew Henson is ready, also has naked fingers. Yeah, wake up them ghosts, and tell them to actually get back into uniform.

Pettite will have to be re-signed, but at his asking price, that will leave little future room to add the A’s triplets, Hudson, Mulder, and Zito. Miguel Tejada will be sought at any price. Can Vlad Guerrero be any worse than Rivera or Garcia in right field? But will it make a difference? The Yankees coaching staff is gone. Will Torre resign or be canned himself? Is Cashman safe? Maybe the best question is who will make more off-season changes, the Yankees or Marlins?

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Baseball Regular Season Wrapup
September 29, 2003
By Peter Murphy

A pretty good season all around, with scant attention to individual players needed. No records were threatened, the focus was on the teams. Clemens, Maddux and Bonds were the only players who stood out in terms of career figures, and then there was the Sosa incident, which faded quickly. Although, Clemens quest for 300 was strange in that, there was no question he’d reach it, yet Yankee teammates acted like little children, saying how nervous they were in the 3 starts needed to push him over the top. And I thought only Clemens worried about Clemens’ statistics. Maddux now has 15 straight years of 15 wins, an unmatched record of consistency. In those 15 seasons, he never won more than 20 (which he attained twice). And Bonds chasing Mays? What’s the big deal? Like how many players can’t hit more home runs than their godfather? September came in with a bang, but out with a whimper. Of the 8 non-qualifiers in contention as of September 1, only the Expos and Astros can be excused. White Sox, Royals, Mariners, Phillies, Cardinals and Dodgers just didn’t play like they deserved a post-season berth. The Expos (like the Twins, a target for extinction two years ago) played valiantly under difficult conditions all year, playing north and south of the border. But how disgraceful is it that they were not allowed a fair chance at post-season with an expanded September roster? Answer: Extremely disgraceful, and it’s a shame, but par for the Lords of Baseball.

End of Season Awards:

This was the hardest year to vote of my 8 years as a voting member of the BWAA (1992-1995 and 2000-present. I resigned in protest after the Mo Vaughan fiasco in 1995). There are many good candidates all-around, but the mix of good players on bad teams, scant rookie talent, and relief pitchers worthy of mention will likely make for close votes, and relatively low votes for winners.

AL MVP: Let me just mention 3 who I did not vote for, but got some buzz. Manny Ramirez. Great numbers, a great batsmen. But ask any Red Sock, and they’d have him around fifth on his own team. That eliminates him from contention. When I vote, I don’t have any hard-and-fast rules or exclusions, except for one. If you are the third best on your team among teammates whose last name ends in “Z”, then you cannot get my first place vote. Ortiz, Martinez, Mueller, Garciaparra, Veritek are at least as valuable to the Bosox 95 wins.

Jorge Posada. Excuse me, but NO! How come when Piazza batted .324, 130 RBI, and 40 HR’s in 2000, the “for a catcher” tag wasn’t credited. Piazza finished 2nd that year. Nor was the fact that, besides Ventura and Alfonzo, the Mets were very shallow on offense, yet still qualified for the playoffs. Posada is under .300, around 100 RBI and 30 HR’s, and suddenly his position makes him eligible. That’s ridiculous of course. It’s more a protest candidacy, like Soriano’s last year. Yanks have been dominant for years, yet have no AL MVP’s, so they just push one guy. Throw in the fact that the team spends 35% more than any other, a whopping $180 million, has above avg. lineup at all positions, including starters and bullpen, and this man is now indispensable? Please. Imagine Posada won the AL MVP, and Javy Lopez didn’t win in the NL.

Alex Rodriguez? If he didn’t win last year, he has slim hopes. The Rangers did improve, still have bad pitching, and are in a tough division, but A Rod didn’t stand out enough this year. And lets stop calling him the $252 million dollar man. The contract is down to $199 million (over final 7 yrs). Also, with recent reductions in tax brackets, his contract is actually worth much more on a take-home basis than it was last year.

Carlos Delgado was the best all-around hitter all throughout the year, and lead a Blue Jays attack that helped them to their best season in years. And with 109 walks to boot, his on-base average and slugging percentage matched Ramirez.

NL MVP: It can only be one of these 3: Bonds, Sheffield, and Pujols. Sheffield had great numbers but was nestled within a strong Braves lineup. Pujols was a little more productive, accounting for 210 runs (= Runs + RBI, less HRs), to Bonds 150. Bonds, only made 250 outs this year, walking 147 times, which limited his production (about 90 RBI). I’d give the nod to Pujols, despite the strength and determination Bonds showed late in the season after his father died. Without Bonds, the Giants may not have won the division, but the rest of the team is underrated. Although, if Bonds wins his 6th MVP, along with a few 2nd place finishes, he would have a strong claim on the greatest player of all-time title. And all this at 39. It’s possible, with 3 more years, he could end his career topping 3,000 hits, 700 HRs, 2,000 runs and walks, 600 doubles, and 500 stolen bases. He also has 8 gold gloves to his credit.

AL Cy Young: Another tough call. I’ve heard some push for Andy Pettite. Andy Pettite? Again, give me break. More hits, walks, earned runs in fewer innings than teammate Mussina. Fewer strikeouts too, although K’s are overrated. Mussina is 17-8, Pettite 21-8. Pettite’s ERA is over 4 runs, and 16th among starters in the AL. Loiaza, Martinez, Mussina, Halladay, Hudson, Moyer, Mulder and Scully are the front-runners. Mulder got shelved with arm trouble, so he’s out. Loaiza had the best overall numbers, but he won’t win due to late-season slide that hurt his team (as if MVP criteria applied). Martinez was the best pitcher yet again leading in ERA by half a run or more, but missed a few starts and at 14-4 had many no-decisions. Halladay was great all year, had the most wins, a solid ERA. Halladay gets the nod, but there will be no complaints either way (unless Pettite wins).

NL Cy Young: Eric Gagne, with no apologies to anyone else. Honorable mention to Jason Schmidt and Mark Pryor. Relievers can, and have won the Cy Young plenty of times, and I don’t know why it’s an issue now. Rollie Fingers and Willie Hernandez even won MVP once each. Never blows a save, barely gives up 2 hits in the same inning. Gagne has given up only 2 HRs and less than ½ a hit per game . And all for only $550,000 in salary. Smoltz may come close, and has only given up 6 earned runs in over 60 innings. Even if Smoltz doesn’t win Cy Young, he would have to be considered the best 0-2 pitcher in history.

AL Manager of the Year: It was a three horse race between the guy who replaced Art Howe, the guy who replaced Lou Piniella, and the guy who manages the Royals. I’ll give it to near-Hall of Fame infielder Ron Gardenhire.

NL Manager of the Year: Even if his own players voted, Larry Bowa would not win. This may be the easiest of all the awards. Jack McKeon will get credited for turning the Marlins around. In fact, rumor has it that at the end of the season, he will try to turnaround Miami’s other fish, the Dolphins, who could use a strong finish.

AL Rookie of the Year: Since non-rookies are eligible, I’d have to go with Hideki Matsui. He played like the non-rookie he is, and more importantly played well enough to end the shame for all those kids out there named Hideki who heretofore had to look to Hideki Irabu for inspiration. 2nd place goes to Ichiro Suzuki, who has gotten high marks from me 3 straight years now.

NL Rookie of the Year: Brandon Webb over the much-hyped Dontrelle Willis in a close one. 2.75 ERA and double digit wins on an average team is quite good for a rookie. Among batters, Podsednik and Byrd had only decent but not outstanding years.

Comeback Player of the Year: Derek Jeter. Despite a very bad opening day, he stemmed the slide 5 straight years of declining production, to show he’s still within the top 4 or 5 shortstops in the A.L.

Don’t Comeback Player of the Year: Mo Vaughan. And we gave him the MVP over Albert Belle because he was a good guy. Remember 2 yrs ago, when it was predicted that the Angels would miss his leadership? Please don’t come back. Honorable mention: Jeff Weaver.

Best Moment: The sausage incident.

Cruelest Moment: Yankees dumping ex-subway series Mets Ventura, Zeile and Benitez the week after the Yankees ring-finger measuring day. At least Orosco has a ring (and landed with the playoff bound Twins).

Best and worst Ending: Yanks vs. Orioles, August 16th at Camden Yards. Jack Cust falls down 10 feet from an empty home plate, failing to tie the game with 2 out in the bottom of the 12th inning. And you thought only NFL games were fixed.

Best Farewell: I won’t deny that I got my foot in the sports writing business due to my name, and I won’t deny that I learned much of the game from this man who “has the same last name as my father”. I’d like to think my career has risen and will fall based on my own credibility or lack thereof. But, nevertheless, after 50 years in the booth, 42 with New York, I, the Mets, and baseball salute and say goodbye to broadcaster Bob Murphy. Good luck, and see you at Thanksgiving dinner.

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How to win a World Series
Sept. 2, 2003

All thirty teams start out in the spring with high hopes. Alright, maybe 29 teams. Ya gotta believe that Alan Trammel knew his kids were in for quite a long season, a season that only Marv Throneberry would appreciate. And of these 29, some of them were “high” on Hippie Lettuce when they were thinking that they would be sipping from Lord Stanley’s World Series trophy come Halloween. No offense to the Texas A-Rodders, (or should I say, no “pitching”) nor to Milwaukee (you know something’s wrong when your commissioner-owner is named after a beer from St. Louis), but some of these spring dreams were DOA on arrival. The closest the Brewers will ever come to an exciting race will probably be the violent sausage race. Rumor has it, that the team has hired the Hansen brothers to wear those costumes for next season.

Many more dreams died early in the season, such as Cleveland, San Diego, and Colorado. The Mets hope faded a few weeks after the Benitez trade, when it was clear that John Franco STILL doesn’t have what it takes to be an effective closer. The final nail in the coffin occurred when Pennington went down. So now it’s down to a mere 15 teams, in contention for post-season. But who will win it all? All of these 15, so far, have taken the number one most important step in the march to October Madness. . . Long-time losers, the Cubs, Red Sox, and White Sox have done it. The never-won-a-post-season series Expos and Astros have done it. The perennial contending Braves, Yankees, Cardinals, and A’s too. Even the Marlins, Phillies, Twins, Royals, Giants, Dodgers, Diamondbacks and Mariners have succeeded in this crucial area so far as well.

All 15 of these teams have resisted the urge to add Terry Pendleton to their roster! No team that has ever won the World Series did it with a roster that included this man. And no one player ever came so close so often. Now this not is that difficult to do anymore, now that he is 42 years old, and will soon be eligible for the Hall of Fame with 5 years in retirement. Former Olympic Bronze medalist, NBA runner up, and oft-fired NBA coach Doug Collins summed it up best: “Man, you do not want that dude on your team”.

Let’s look at the “Case Against Terry Pendleton”. No one has had a more tantalizing and agonizing run at the title than this poor guy.

Pendleton came up in the mid-1980s, a product of the St. Louis Cardinals farm system. While in AA ball, this organization reached the pinnacle of the sport, winning the 1982 series. The farm system was stocked with talent, including Vince Coleman, Todd Worrell, and Andy Van Slyke. After replacing Keith Hernandez with the hard hitting Jack Clark at first base, and retaining head man Whitey Herzog, the team would surely contend for a while. Pendleton broke in 1984, and his first full season, 1985, he batted at the back of a lineup that featured 4 switch hitters, and many base-stealers that drove other teams crazy. The year was fruitful, as the Cards outlasted the Mets, and eased into the World Series against a seemingly weak Kansas City Royal team (91-71 record). Of course, they would do battle without their lead-off man Vince Coleman, who was injured after losing a game of chicken with an automatic tarpaulin machine. The Cards jumped out to a 2-0 lead, sweeping the opening set at Kansas City. At that time, no team had ever won the series after dropping the first two at home. Surely this young man would taste the sweetness of victory at the tender age of 24? Up 1-0 heading to the bottom of the 9^th of game 6, the Cards were 3 outs away from winning the 1985 series. Or should I say 4 outs away? Jack Clark, a converted outfielder, dropped a foul ball for an error to start the final set. Hey Whitey, haven’t you ever heard of a defensive replacement at first base in the bottom of the 9^th of the series clincher? Evidently not. Or even more tragically, why wasn’t Red Sox skipper John McNamara paying attention??? But that’s another story.

How about 5 outs away? This same inning-for-the-ages featured one of the most important blown umpire calls in history, with Don Denkinger missing a play at first. Even then-Commissioner and California Gubernatorial candidate # 27, Peter Ueberroth admitted on TV that Worrell had beat the runner to the bag. Well, in the end, the Cardinals were really 2 outs away. 2 outs, that is, from a Game 7 that they would lose 11-0. This Royals team, incidentally, featured bit players Charlie Leibrandt, and Lonnie Smith. Smith, ironically, was traded by the Cardinals to the Royals in the middle of the 1985 season, and now had been on a series winner with a record three teams (1980 Phillies and 1982 Cardinals). Remember these names.

But Terry was a young man, and 2 years later, he hit the decisive blow off Roger McDowell in a late-season game against the Mets, propelling the Cardinals again to the playoffs, and eventually the World Series against Minnesota. The series was the first in history to feature no road victories, and many have claimed that the relatively weak Minnesota Twins benefited from the luck of the draw, getting games 1, 2, 6 and 7 at “dome”, where other teams found it difficult to see and hear. Pendleton only played in 3 games, batting a respectable .429, but, he was now 0 for 2 in finals.

After the 1990 season, Pendleton left St. Louis as that great team had faded, and headed for the up-and-coming Braves. Pendleton won the MVP for Atlanta in 1991, and helped them get started on a never-before-seen streak of 11 consecutive division championships, which should reach 12 in about two weeks. Now 30, Pendleton was in his prime, and on a team that had a great foundation for the future, with Glavine, Smoltz, Justice and Ron Gant. After squeaking out a 7-game series over Pittsburgh, Pendleton found himself facing the Twins again, in the 1991 series. Flipping ahead to game 6, Pendleton, who would hit .367 in the series with 11 hits and 3 walks, and his mates had a chance to close out the series. On his side this time were Charlie Leibrandt, a proven winner, and Lonnie Smith, a proven uber-winner. You could say that these guys were already wearing one of Terry Pendleton’s championship rings. Game 6 featured, yet again, one of the most important blunders in series history. Locked in a pitcher’s duel, Lonnie Smith reached base ahead of Pendleton. With one out, Pendleton ripped the ball to the left-center gap. Only Lonnie Smith lost the ball in the lights or roof, and was duped by Twin middle infielders into thinking the ball was elsewhere. He held up around 2^nd base, while Pendleton raced for a possible triple. In the end, Smith was only able to make it to 3^rd base, and the inning ended with no score and runners on 2^nd and 3^rd. The game went into extra innings, tied at 3, and in the bottom of the 11^th, Charlie “here, hit this” Leibrandt was called on to pitch in relief. Leibrandt, who had been rocked in game one for the Braves, served a fat one up to Kirby Puckett, who sent the series to a 7^th game. The Braves, who failed to score on Pendleton’s near-triple, were actually shutout for the final 14 innings of the Series, including 10 innings in game 7. Had they scored a run in any of those 14 innings, they would have given their star a championship. Don’t blame the bejeweled Lonnie Smith. Blame Smith AND Leibrandt.

The saga continued, relatively uneventfully with his 4^th World Series loss in 1992 against the Blue Jays. In the 1992 Series, Leibrandt concluded his 0-4 career World Series and 1-7 lifetime post-season record giving up 2 runs in the 11^th inning of the decisive game, and making a hero out of erstwhile “Mr. May”, Dave Winfield. Thanks Charlie, for nothing!

After the strike cancelled the 1994 playoffs, Pendleton’s contract with the Braves expired, and he latched onto the relatively new Florida Marlins. He didn’t chase the money, as his salary was halved. He was basically let go. Wouldn’t you know it, 1995 was the only year out of 22 managerial seasons that Bobby Cox won a championship. The only year in their 12-year run, that they won the series. And they did it without poor Pendleton. Is it timing? Or is it a curse?

By 1996, with need of a veteran bat, the Braves made a mid-season deal with the Marlins to get Pendleton back, in defense of their title. Terry, stick with the Marlins, Stick with the Marlins!!!!!

Well this time, as DH mainly, Pendleton struggled, going 2 for 9, including a key double play groundout in a 3-2 Yankee victory, the decisive game 6. (Game 6 again!) And remember, the Braves had jumped out to a 2 game lead, winning 2 at Yankee stadium, and becoming only the 3^rd team to come back to win a title after losing the opening 2 games at home. (Trivia buffs, the only team to do it, while NOT playing against Pendleton, was the 1986 Mets. Game 6 yet again!)

Dropped popups, blown calls, Homer Domes, bad base-running and pitching, ill-timed free agencies. Someone, give him a ring already. But don’t, DON’T under any circumstances, “ring” his agent. At least not while your team is still in the hunt for the playoffs. And not while Trey Junkin is still available.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/p/pendlte01.shtml

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Mid-Summer Musings
July 25, 2003

Baseball
Okay, so now the All-Star game matters. I still care the same about the game, no more or less, which is to say, I STILL don’t care very much. The only problem I see with the new format is that some guys won’t get to play because the manager is hell-bent to win the game. Not counting getting “press credentials” in the mail, I’ve never actually been invited to MLB’s All-Star Game, but if I was an elected or selected player, and went through all the pomp and circumstance of the event and then did not get into the game, I would probably be bummed out. I wonder if Dusty Baker kept Benitez on the bench because it was an open secret at that time that he was headed to the post-season in the American league? What would have happened if he got in the game, and gave up the traditional series of walks, or the all-to-familiar long ball? Would Bud and the boys have had to rescind the reward, go back to the alternating method?

Bobby “the Hyena” Valentine can stop laughing now. The Mets’ problems have conclusively been proven to be not the fault of the manager. Now that the Mets have given up and are going with the youth movement, it will be interesting to see what the farm system produces. A while back, Tom Glavine became one of the few players in history to have a win over loss differential of at least 100 games. That was in April, he’s now about 5 short of this impressive milestone. I wonder how much he regrets locking into the Mets for 4 years, now that they aren’t in the win-now mode. The Mets were one of several teams that offered the innovative “differential pricing” for home games, based on the opponents’ marquee value. If you trade all your best players, does that mean the rest of the games for this year should be discounted?

Ken Griffey. What ever happened to the all-20^th century player? If you haven’t heard, he was injured yet again trying to stretch a standup double into a double. Is it age and injury, or was he always indifferent to his star status and the accompanying responsibility to give a shit? He basically disappeared off the face of the baseball world ever since moving to Cincinnati. Ironically, Seattle has had it’s best years after he left. (and after Randy Johnson and Alex Rodriguez left too.)

The second half should be interesting with only two spots sown up so far. The Braves get an automatic bye, it seems, on their way to their incredible 12^th straight division championship, and the Giants should hold on to what seems like a safe lead. The wild cards should come from either east or west runner up, with only a courtesy playoff berth available from either league’s central division. Yanks are rolling, and should make it. It will be interesting to see which of the Mariners, Bosox and A’s get shutout of post-season. Hopefully the Giants and Bonds get back to the World Series, so that the Bonds-hating media can dub as meaningless any home run he hits in a loss or in a blow out.

Tour de France
Lance Legstrong was cruising to his fifth straight victory in an uneventful tour, when crazy French protesters stopped one stage of the race, but were quickly removed by the French police. Where are those 2 Chicago losers (father and son) that whacked around the Royals’ first base coach, Tom Gamboa, last year when you need them. Now that’s how you disrupt a sporting event. As we go to press, he’s up a minute or so with 2 days left. GO U.S. Post Office!

Wimbledon
Pro Tennis doesn’t do it for me anymore, ever since Monica Seles got stabbed in the back. Security is too tight now, taking away much of the drama. It’s like having on-ice security guards at a hockey game to protect the players from each other. Now, the only reason to watch Wimbledon is that faint hope that some champion at the award ceremony will refuse to bow to the Queen, and say something like, “yo lady, I earned the right to be here, leaving home at the age of 9 to go to some Tennis factory, whereas you merely inherited all that you have. YOU should be bowing to ME. And by the way, get out of Ireland, you crumpet-eating old bitty?” But alas, it never happens. To add insult to the boredom, the finals are broadcast way too early in the morning. I still haven’t recovered from losing that hour of sleep back in April. Can’t wait for October when I can finally get some sleep.

NBA
An interesting playoff season. The west winning it’s 5^th straight championship (20-6 in finals), and 7^th straight non-Jordan. But my, how the off-season has been infinitely more interesting. There was the surprise draft, where an unknown player not from a major college went number one. Has this league gone crazy, or was that just LeBron in a white coat, and not the orderlies. Actually, he should turn out to be pretty good, except that the entire city of Cleveland is jinxed when it comes to sports.

There was all that changeover among head coaches, which continued to this weekend with the dethronement of coaching genius George Karl. If you even needed to design a game plan to mitigate a talent gap, he was your man. Unfortunately, it was his team that usually had the talent advantage. Jeff Van Gundy, who is a pretty good coach, and also a pretty ugly coach, is back for his second NBA stint. He says he will try not to repeat his mistakes from his first tenure as Knick HC. Said Jeff “Next time I’m in a fight with “Zo”, I’m gonna latch onto his SHORT leg.” Ouch.

And what’s up with the Nets? Granted, Byron Scott is not a good coach, and kind of a punk. And Kidd is responsible for the team’s resurgence, but if they want to win, it will not be with the Kidd-Scott combo. They still need some offensive threat, other than the point guard. They need someone who can consistently fill it up from outside, or a threat from the small forward spot. When was the last time a point guard lead a cast of middling players anywhere? Isaiah and Magic played with all-star types at every position, and Magic was so much more than a point. Scott should have been canned, but is he to now get a contract extension? Kidd got six years, and if it’s true they don’t get along, then Scott will not be re-signed. Why suffer through a lame duck year.

KNICKS GET BIG MAN WHO CAN SHOOT!!!!! is how Scott Layden, GM for life, put it. Oh, it’s Keith Van Horn? And it costs you only your best player? And Van Horn has more money committed to him than does Sprewell? Oh. It seems inexplicable how they can make this move. So I went to the source, and asked Layden point blank what was going on. Said Layden “We have been trying to upgrade our positioning, and now with Keith, we should be able to get a lot more balls with our name on in the lottery?” Well, I guess you can’t argue with that logic.

Then there was free agent signing period, with the Lakers and Nets making key additions and retentions. Karl Malone, who reminds me a little of Jimmy Kimmel for some reason, is desperately trying to capture with the Lakers what he lost in 1997 and 1998. The Lakers appear to have the most talent, but anyone coming through the west could be facing a well-rested eastern opponent, as the east doesn’t project to be too deep in talented teams.

And finally, the Kobe Bryant thing. I have 3 words to sum it up. Kobe, Kobe, Kobe! Now there’s someone who should be smacked. Was he on smack? Do they still even call it “smack”, or am I hung up on 1970’s slang? And what the hell is wrong with people who suggest he will now be more marketable now that he has a rap sheet? Is that all anyone cares about anymore? And what’s up with the $4 million dollar jewelry. Haven’t you ever heard of a dozen roses? You just raised the bar for the rest of us. Thanks a lot. Not to mention, in the City of L.A., there must be some worth charity that could have used $4 million at this point. Kobe joins a growing list of sports super-stars with LT, Straw, Gooden and Mike Tyson, who had it all, and could have been legends for all-time had they not strayed from the straight and narrow line. Alright, in Straw and Gooden’s case, they should have avoided doing lines. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? DiMaggio, prima donna that he was, was nevertheless a legendary figure that parlayed his athletic success and image into a 48-year long post-retirement phenomenon. Everywhere he went, he wasn’t just mobbed, but revered. LT could have been the same way, an all-time great in the biggest city in the world, but blew it. Kobe is on the verge of blowing it. He could have had a distinguished career, playing on many a championship team, had a clean image, great career stats, and a great personality that may have put him above Michael toward a Magic-type status. That is probably gone now, no matter the outcome of the criminal proceedings. It’s sad too, and hard to believe that a guy with all the worldliness of Kobe Bryant has never heard of prostitution.

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What's Luck Got to Do With It?
June 30, 2003

As the fourth of July rolls around each summer, it is easy to be reminded of what the date means to this county in history. Before 1776, the day was merely July 4^th. It was back in 1776 that a bunch of wig-wearing farmers, lawyers, and other rabble finally put an end to a year or so of agitation, and finally declared to the German king of England, George the 1^st, that they were free. This signaled the beginning of the end of the British Empire, which is reason enough to go out and have a parade, a picnic, and to offer a great deal on a new car. Now, here it is 227 years later, and George the 2^nd (or “43”) is kickin’ ass, and taking prisoners (I wanted to say taking NO prisoners, but the facts got in my way). Either way, American pride is again in the forefront. Apple pie, mom, hot dogs and that other American summer mainstay, baseball.

July fourth also has a significant meaning in baseball. It was back in 1939 that Henry Louis Gehrig gave his famous Yankee stadium speech that still echoes today (literally).

Lou Gehrig was a New Yorker, born and bread, who was part of two Yankees dynasties. It is a coincidence that he began his Yankee career in 1923, the first year the Yanks ever won the World Series. He played on 6 series winners out of 7 trips. He didn’t play much his first two seasons, but he was a breakout star, alongside Ruth, by the age of 24. The end of his career, he teamed with DiMaggio for 3 straight championships in their then-record four year run (16-3 record in those four series).

During an amazing 13 year stretch, from 1926-1938, Gehrig put up some of the most amazing numbers ever seen. Forget that he never missed a game, cause even Cal Ripken Jr. could do that. Gehrig’s season averages for that stretch (again, 13 years, 3 times longer than the average career), were as follows:

Runs:        139
Hits:          200
HR:             37
RBI:          132
Avg:         .342

And remember, this was done with the traditional 154 game schedule.
Other career highlights: 2,130 straight games, .361 world series batting average, 2 AL MVP’s, NOT INCLUDING his triple-crown season of 1934, when he finished a remarkable 5^th (see, it’s not just Ted Williams who got ripped off during a triple crown season). He also had THREE seasons with over 170 runs batted in. At 493 career homeruns, he held the #2 spot behind Ruth, but was soon caught by Jimmy Foxx. Gehrig ranked in the top 5 all-time until well into the 1960s.

Sadly, Gehrig retired immediately after discovering his skills had diminished, which was brought about by the onset of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. The disease was little known at the time and, because of this and the enormous figure that Gehrig was, is commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. After announcing his retirement, Gehrig came to Yankee Stadium for a day in his honor. Despite his looming troubles, he described himself as the luckiest man alive, grateful for the adulation from the fans. After 2 years of valiant and courageous fighting, Gehrig succumbed in 1941, just shy of his 38^th birthday.

Sadly, despite the high profile of Gehrig’s ordeal, despite 60 years of research, ALS remains without a cure.

ALS is progressive, and attacks the motor neurons in the brain, which disrupts muscle control. Muscles begin to atrophy, eventually affecting speech, swallowing and breathing. The disease is fatal, and is very traumatic for the families of ALS sufferers. About 30,000 people have the disease, with 8,000 cases diagnosed each year. ALS is not prejudiced. It strikes all over the world, with no age, ethnic, or economic boundaries.

Hall of Fame pitcher Jim “Catfish” Hunter, who played on 5 World Series winners in the 1970s, died of ALS a few years back. If you saw this year’s U.S. Open golf championship, you would have seen the courage of Bruce Edwards, long-time caddy for Tom Watson, struggling through the early stages of ALS. Sadly, this is likely Edwards’ last U.S. Open.   Another current player, Jeff Julian is also in the early stages of the disease.

ALS is what’s known as an orphan disease, which basically means that the relatively low incidence of the disease causes it to get crowded out when research funding decisions are made. This is a tragedy.   Please keep ALS sufferers in your prayers. To help, contact the ALS Therapy Development Foundation at www.als.net

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Spring Musings
May 5, 2003

As if attempting to compete with the world of international politics, the sports world has definitely been trying to keep up in the noteworthy events department. Let me chime in on just a smattering of the sports world’s recent events:

NCAA
Kudos to the Syracuse Orange Storm for their run through the Big 12, all the way to the title. With the UCONN Huskettes, it gives the Big East the double crown. Carmelo Anthony’s impressive rookie campaign shows others out there what happens when a McDonald’s all-American high schooler, class of 2002, can do when he decides to get an education (LeBron, are you listening?). This proves that Jim Boeheim can still recruit, can still line up those boosters with their untraceable $100 bills. But let's not get carried away with this thing about which of the 2 finals coaches is the bigger loser. Gerry McNamara is unconscious in the first half from downtown. Kansas players shot 12 for 30 from the free throw line. If they go a measly 16 for 30, they could have won. Does this somehow make Roy Williams less of a coach for coming up short?

Larry Eustachy. What can I say, I wish I was in college sometimes, too. And I love how his disdain for flying sprung him loose from the rest of the team for these co-ed drinking parties, or “parties” as they’re called in college. From the whole saga, the best quote came from the (f)rat boy who photographed him: “I didn’t think he could hang that long, him being an old man.”

But it gets even better. Alabama’s Mike Price gives up his Washington State job, and comfortable anonymity at the age of 57, having fallen into one of the great prestige jobs in sports. Plus a $10 million contact, plus he gets 2 of his sons jobs on the staff. Now he’s canned because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. I’m referring to his room key that a stripper somehow wound up with. The buzz was so great down in ‘Bama, that the day after the story broke, the 10 O’clock news started with 3 minutes on the coach, and then got to that other minor story, of Bush declaring that the rumors of an Iraq-asskicking were true. In Birmingham they love the governor, but they can’t tolerate this sort of immoral behavior. As the sign says (on Interstate-65, between Montgomery and Birmingham): “Go to Church, or the Devil will get you”. Evidently, coach Price missed a few sessions. George O’ Leary, you died in vain.

Baseball
Kevin Millwood throws a no-no, but in his next start, the first batter brings him back to earth by slapping a single. Johnny Vander Meer’s 65 year-old record is safe, yet again. A HA!
By referring to the record of 2 consecutive no-hitters, I just fulfilled one of my predictions from the Baseball preview (See April 1 issue).
Nevertheless, the countdown begins. Only 7 months until Millwood signs with the Yankees. The Yankees have baseball’s best record as of now, with almost no input from Jeter and Rivera, the two erstwhile top reasons for Yankee success. It’s all on Torre’s shoulders now.

And speaking of New York.   What’s up with the Mets. They’re a team full of holes, but no more sorrier sight than Old Dave Cone hanging around, at least until his aging hip bones evidently snapped the other day. Cone should go home. He’s only playing to raise the money to repay the Yankees for the $9 million he stole from them in 2000 when he sucked.

But Steve Phillips must go as well. Unless, and this would only be out of charity, the Mets get together with some other local teams, and rotate G.M.s. How about Phillips to the Knicks, Layden to Rangers, Sather to Mets. Failing that, how about getting someone with good NY baseball experience, and a successful track record to fill Phillips empty moccasins: Yes, I’m talking Geoge Costanza. I’d even consider making a run at one of the executives from the Yankees Devils Nets: Lamoriello, Cashman, and Rod Thorn.

And what’s up with the Yankees? Recent squabbling between Torre and Steinbrenner (or is that between Torre and the media?) threatens to derail the Yanks chances of repeating (as AL East champs). And it all started when they were demoting Contreras. The Yankees run the risk of getting sued for age discrimination. Contreras is old enough to be Danny Almonte’s father. Now that’s old!

Speaking of Torre getting fired, didn’t Torre (and come to think of it, Zimmer too) claim that he was gonna hang it up soon, 4 years ago?   When he retires, he can show up on the YES network in a Yankeeography.   And to all those Yankee fans that watch reruns of LAST season’s games on YES:   What did you do before YES. Did you have families? Did you interact. Read any good books lately?

Baseball all-star game is now linked to home field advantage.   As my loyal readers know, I am against monkeying around with playoff home field issues. You know what’s gonna happen, somewhere down the line, a Yankee will strike out, or make an error or bad pitch late in an all-star game, and all the Red Sox fans, assuming of course that this was “their” year, will figure it was the Yankees trying to screw the Sox shot at having the extra home game in the Fall Classic. And why does the baseball all-star game have to be the only one of the 4 majors that’s not a joke? The NFL Pro Bowl? Are you kidding me? LT made 10 Pro Bowl teams, largely due to his success as a blitzing linebacker, but, you can’t blitz in this game. That’s like not allowing Roger Clemens to throw at people. The NHL and NBA games are so bad, they have to have a skills competition just to get some interest in the games. Where’s the crime in a boring baseball all-star game?

NFL Draft
Well, finally, the Bengals are set! Surely Carson Palmer, or any QB coached in college by Pete Carroll is a can’t miss. Bengals will be back in the playoffs very soon. NOT. They’re still the worst-run team in pro sports. The Bengals are the Tigers of the NFL.

And what’s up with Iowa QB Brad Banks. 2^nd in Heisman voting, and 5 months later, not even drafted. That’s gotta hurt. I guess he’ll have to return that fancy car he no doubt bought banking on NFL riches.

Drew Henson. Drafted by the lowly Texans Houston. It’s time to consider giving up baseball. There’s a lot of guys better at football than at baseball, and there’s a place for them. It’s called the NFL. Too bad it isn’t working out. Ah, the good ole curve ball. Anyone can hit high school pitching, that’s why he’s only make $17 million as a minor leaguer, rather than making the “folding” money that a major leaguer can make.

Hockey Playoffs
Exciting so far, with a lot of new faces in the second round. But too many way-too-long overtime games. I got two words that will solve this crisis. Shootout!

NBA Playoffs
Pardon me for not mentioning this when it happened, but extending the NBA’s first round to best-of-seven format in the middle of the season is an outrage. It’s pro-Laker manipulation not seen since game 6 of the Lakers-Kings series last year. The NBA is a disgrace for doing this, because it proves that they are only in business to make money, and that the integrity of the game is secondary. Well, I guess there was no surprise there.

As it turns out, the Lakers didn’t need that much help to get to the second round. So, adding the 4^th win to the first round, basically . . . cost the NBA having Tracy McGrady, one of the league’s premier players, in the 2^nd round (though don’t tell McGrady this. He thinks that he’s got a game on Tuesday). And it also caused problems for the Dallas Cubans. The Mavs, as they are really nicknamed, would have been the ONLY team to sweep the first round, but instead, they are actually the last of the 8 teams to qualify for the 2^nd round. Their outlook is drastically different from what it was a week ago. I’m sticking with my prediction from 3 years ago: The west will win the NBA title this year.

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Baseball Season Preview and Predictions
April 1, 2003
by Peter Murphy

Well it’s that time of year again, when hope springs eternal for many a major league team and their fans. Blah blah blah. It’s snowing today where I live, so much for spring. Let’s get right into the predictions.

The following 10 things will occur this season:

1. A pitcher that ordinarily sucks, will throw a no-hitter this year. Five days later, the less imaginative in the sports media will dust off their old Johnny Vander Meer articles, rerun them, and then after the pitcher gives up a hit in the top of the second inning, they will write that Vander Meer’s back-to-back No-No’s record is safe.

2. Mike Piazza will miss half a month in the first part of the season due to some minor injury. The Mets will claim that the silver lining is that it will leave him fresher for the summer.

3. Some lame small-market team will be 22-15, and all the pundits will say how great it is that a team with a small payroll, and a couple of young starting pitchers that no one has ever heard of and that are 4-2 can compete with the big boys, and how great that is for the sport.

4. Pedro Martinez will be dominant when he pitches, but will miss several starts due to arm and shoulder problems. He will insist that he’s durable, and that his critics don’t know what they are talking about.

5. Joe Torre will name 8 Yankees to the all-star team, and then bitch when he’s told that it’s not his call, and that only 4 actually make the team. Will say Joe: “It’s hard to think of an All-Star game without Derek Jeter in it.”

6. The Pete Rose saga will continue. Nothing will be resolved. This is because of two things. Pete Rose is a dirt bag, and Bud Selig is weak. If either were not true, the problem would be resolved.
Again, this should be decided once and for all as follows: Pete bet on all sports, including baseball and the Reds. For this reason, he is not allowed to work for any Major League team. He can come to the park, and get V.I.P. treatment, but no further. As for the Hall of Fame, it is hereby announced that he is ineligible for the Hall while he is alive. After that, he will be inducted at the next available time. It’s a compromise, and it is ultimately fair and allow the sport to move on. Ray Fosse will then be able to urinate on Pete’s bust without fear of retaliation.

7. Some lame small-market team, that got off to a 22-15 start, and features a couple of young starting pitchers and not much else, end up going 76-86, a distant third place finish. The media will bitch that the high revenue teams are killing the sport, and the labor agreement from last year will have done nothing to solve the problem.

8. With the wild card, many more teams will be in the playoff hunt in September, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, the typical playoff contending team fighting for a spot will go something like 16-14 in September, which is very unlike history’s greatest pennant races.

9. Oakland will dominate against weaker teams, such as Tampa Bay. It won’t matter though, because Rich Gannon just got picked off for 6 again. Wait. . . . . The extra point is good!!

10. Playoff games will average 3 hrs. and 10 minutes in duration. The ratings for the post-season will be either 10% above or 10% below the prior year. In either case, a big deal will be made about it. (“Baseball’s back, labor peace good for ratings” or “Without an L.A. – N.Y. world series, no one cares”).

NL playoff teams: Mets, Dodgers, Astros, Cubs
AL playoff teams: Yankees, A’s, White Sox, Indians
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez
NL MVP: Shawn Green
AL Rookie of the Year: Godzilla
NL Rookie of the Year: Jose Reyes
AL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella
NL Manager of the Year: Art Howe

Coming soon: The Terry Pendleton Story
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March Anger, and other End-of-Winter Musings
March 18, 2003
by Peter Murphy

The period between the Super Bowl and the NCAA selection show (which merely sets up the drama for the NIT selections) is appropriately set in the dark and coldest days of winter. Now that the thaw is over, now that I’ve seen my shadow and went back to sleep for six weeks, it’s time to get back to work.

Hall of Fame:Baseball. Gil Hodges, Ron Santo, Joe Torre, and Jim Rice. Put them in already, so we in the media can move on with our lives, and get ready for the coming torrent of Cal, Tony Gwynn, Rickey Henderson, and Mark McGwire. For Torre and Hodges, there should be a combined qualification, for great players with success in managing. Sure Torre bummed around for the first 18 years of his managerial career, but give him his due. He’s won more games in November than any other manager besides Bob Brenly. Hodges was a stud power hitter way back, and if it weren’t for him and seven other HOF teammates and an HOF manager, Brooklyn never would have won that solitary world’s championship. Rice? Maybe he didn’t stick around to accumulate big numbers, but he was fierce at the plate, dominated for a few years. Sorry to bring up Robin Yount again, but you decide. Yount or Rice. Santo is underrated, didn’t get on many of those Sports Center highlight films since he played most of his games at 2:30 in the afternoon.
Football. It’s hard to figure some of football’s HOF voting, since about half the players really don’t accumulate meaningful statistics based on their position. Plus, careers can be short. And there can only be so many Pittsburgh Steelers in Canton. Joe Delamalleure, Elvin Bethea? These guys were greats, but it’s a subjective measure. Even for Lofton, who retired with many receiving records, the numbers are pumped up by the changes in the game. Will Terrance Mathis make it? Or Andre Rison? Both have tons of catches, but the run and shoot helps. Marcus Allen deserves enshrinement. But it would have been nice to see him get O.J.’s spot in the hall, since they have so much in common. (Both went to USC, both knocked Nicole Brown Simpson). Hank Stram? Maybe, but is he any better than George Siefert, who will never make the hall?
Speaking of HOF running backs, Emmitt Smith. Emmitt makes me feel like those girls I used to meet at bars. There’s this overwhelming urge to bellow “Go Away Already”!!!!

Lavaraneus Coles leaving the Jets. Now what are they going to do? This is as big as Michael Jordan walking away from the Bulls. And what’s up with Spurrier? Has he lost his mind? He’s actually going after Florida State University players now? And ex-Gator Ike Hilliard figured they had a deal.
Giants cut ties with Jason Sehorn. This is actually good for New York sports fans, because, it will open some doors for another marketable Giant, Tiki Barber, who isn’t really isn’t overexposed enough yet.

Yao Ming. Not since Lew Alcindor came out of college has someone made more of an impact on his team. Wait a minute, did Lew take a lottery team and turn them into a lottery team? Oh, wait, sorry. He took a lottery team (pre-lottery) and made them champs. Never mind, I must have been thinking of Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

Mike Piazza. Just like I never believed Dwayne Schintzius could change when the Nets landed him in that blockbuster deal a decade ago, I still feel Piazza is too passive, and it’s too late in his career. Bean me, throw my own bat at me, or call me gay? Fine. But don’t hit me in the shoulder arm with a fastball, dammit! It’s one thing to defend yourself on the field from some guy you don’t see everyday, and whose (or whom’s?) ass you can kick. It’s another thing to have the stones to tell Ricky and Bobby Bo to put away the deck of cards and get their ass out of the clubhouse. That’s the type of leadership the Mets need from this guy. But, maybe it’s a start. At least the five extra games of rest at the beginning of the season (from the suspension) will come in handy during the post-season.
Steve Bechler’s death. Tragic for him and his family. But what’s up with the blame on the league? These guys are adults. They know the risks. It’s up to the players, as individuals, to take some of the responsibility. My company or industry hasn’t banned Ephedra yet either, but it’s my responsibility to look after my own safety, and not use these products. (Uh oh, I should have learned my lesson from that Oprah-Slaughterhouse industry beef? Now I’ll probably get sued by the makers of Ephedra for using my vast cyber-influence to bring down a thriving industry.)
Georgia hoops. They say if you lay down with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas. Well what if you are already a Dawg? You lay down with fleas, such as Harrick, then you will wake up with fleas all over your sorry hide. Looks like the Dawgs actually got a case of worms as well (Harrick Junior). The Harricks are just a higher class Sutton family. Will Jim Harrick ever get a coaching job again? Yeah, maybe at Cleveland State, where they have a history of hiring morally challenged coaches (remember Kevin “the pipe” Mackey, and Rollie “pay me under the table” Massimino?)
St. Bonaventure. I always thought Saint Bonaventure was the patron saint of comfortable footwear. Or was that Saint Hubbins? So what’s Bonaventure, the patron saint of JuCo transfers? The use of an ineligible player is no surprise, it happens a lot. The real story here is that by doing so, the Bonnies’ forfeits gave Fordham University as many wins (2), as they had gotten all season with the help of former NBA coaching great Bob Hill. Seems coach Hill is saving his best for his “walk” year. Unfortunately, he’s in the midst of a ten-year contract. So the players he’ll be leading to the promised land are still in 9th grade. These prodigies in waiting don’t yet know that there are 2 meanings for the word Hummer. Cheer up Ram fans, there was a time when a Manhattan (what-the-fuck’s-a) Jasper team netted a season with only two wins, and now look at them. Too bad that should the Jaspers win a first-round game this year, they won’t get the keys to the city like last time. Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg will spring for a key to Gracie Mansion, which he considers “slumming”. Of course, woman-scorned Donna Hanover is probably still holed up in the place. But I digress.

NCAA tournament.UCONN women. Great run, challenging UCLA’s win-streak mark. But I’m sorry, any loss short of an NCAA tourney loss cannot be met with tears, girls or not. Get over it quickly, and get back to business. The Huskettes can make it up in the big dance.

This year, picking this tournament is really a tough call (unless you’re Villanova, and you steal a phone card). Ya like seniors, lineage, or desert teams? . . . . . .then Lute’s boys are the team for you. Ya like Catholic Schools this year, then how about a final four of San Diego, Notre Dame, Holy Cross, and Xavier? Ya like the Big East, Rick Barnes, or Bob Huggins? . . . . then . . . Get help. Ya like the SEC, Tubby Smith, talent and an easy path to the final four. Then take Kentucky. And that’s the pick here.
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That's a Wrap
January 28, 2003
by Peter Murphy

San Diego - Well, another NFL season has ended, and other than for Bucs fans and certain gamblers, it ended with a disappointing Super Bowl blowout. Good thing the parties before the game were numerous, and fun-filled, otherwise this reporter might not abuse his press-privileges to get a freebie to the next year’s Super Bowl. It was a great week out here, although the Qualcomm Stadium press box seats could use a little more cushioning if the game is gonna last 4 hours.

Bucs were impressive with their young head coach, but we’ve heard a lot Tampa players giving credit to Tony Dungy. How about giving him one of the 100 or so Super Bowl ring’s allotted to the victors? No, No, I didn’t think so. Dungy’s got a lot of class though, and he can still coach. He got the Colts in the playoffs despite going 3 and 6 against teams not named Jaguars, Texans, Bengals, and Cowboys. Talk about overcoming adversity.

Speaking of the Cowboys, (the word “class” also reminded me of this) new coach Bill “Tuna” Parcells was in town for the Super Bowl. When I asked him after the game, what his thoughts were on turning down the Bucs a year ago, Tuna replied: “Fellas, if I had taken the job, the only difference would have been that we wouldn’t have had a punt blocked for a touchdown.”

Atta boy, Bill.

It was kind of sad watching the Raiders fall apart, after so many of them had fought so hard to finally get to the Super Bowl. NOT!! I feel sorry for poor Al Davis, it’s too bad he probably doesn’t have too many more chances to get his fourth Lombardi trophy. NOT!!!

The Raiders are about the only team so cocky that would make you root for the Tampa Bay Keyshawns (or is it the Sapps). Raiders were all talk, but didn’t come to play, literally in one player’s case. After the game, Keyshawn, who had no chance of being invited to Disney World, was heard saying “You all said that we didn’t have the receiving corps to win a Super Bowl, and look what we all just did”.

Excuse me? Didn’t have the receiving corps? I heard QB, offensive line, running back, but no one of the pundits analyzing the pre-game ever mentioned the receiving corps. I suppose what he really meant was “You all said that if we won, Keyshawn would have some asshole comment to say, and look what I ju-- …. Never mind”.  Keyshawn also took a swipe at the Jets for trading him. Hey Keyshawn, that’s like saying that the Jets would have won the Super Bowl if they had kept you, at $55 million for eight years. Guess what, Tampa Bay isn’t gonna keep you and your 6 touchdowns in the last two seasons much longer either.

If this Chucky Bowl proved anything, it’s that old people really can’t play in football that well. Watching Jerry Rice yesterday reminded me of how fun it is to see Michael Jordan actually enjoying his limited role with the Wizards. Seems Michael is gracefully acknowledging his athletic demise. Don’t let the hype fool you, there are over 25 wide receivers over 1,000 yards in any given season. If you throw 40 times a game, it ain’t that hard to wrack up the yardage. Rice is toast. And bread is toast that cooled off.

Speaking of hype, the media is of course over reacting to the obligatory post-game rioting, calling the Raider faithful “Sore losers”, just because 80 were arrested up in Oakland. Truth be told, there were 100 arrested after the Raiders knocked off the Titans a week earlier.

Coach Callahan, who did such a poor job, reacted harshly when accused of throwing the game at the behest of underworld gambling figures. “I would never throw a game, and have never been approached by gamblers, although Selig should let him in the Hall of Fame.” A spokesman for the Raiders later clarified the coach’s statement by saying that Callahan of course wouldn’t lose intentionally, but that it was not the same as managing the score to improve his chances of winning the office Super Bowl box. This would explain his unusual two-point conversion obsession.

Yes, the Raiders performance was so bad, that we could turn our attention to what really matters. It’s the millions of dollars that change hands on every missed field goal, failed two-point try, and interception returned for a touchdown. (Bulletin: The Bucs just scored again).

Well, maybe next year, the game (in Houston) will be a little closer. The Super Bowl champ Bucs are already installed as the early favorites, as happens every year.

Here’ s my Top 10 moments of the 2002 NFL season:

#10 The re-emergence of Jim Fassel as a viable NFL head coaching candidate. For the 3^rd straight year, Fassel stages a mid-year reversal of fortune to save his job. Giants fans are stuck with him for at least one more year. (I guarantee it).

#9 Warren Sapp challenging Mike Sherman on the field after leveling Chad Clifton. The hit was so jarring, that Clifton’s hip muscle and ligaments were damaged. In addition, either Sherman’s hearing or Sapp’s brain was damaged, because Sapp was heard telling Sherman to “Put a jersey on” a whopping four consecutive times. He sounded like a broken record. (Broken record? Sorry, if I’m dating myself. Although . . . . If I’m dating myself, who pays? Am I obligated to “sleep” with whomever pays? Do we go “Dutch”? Where’s Ann Landers when you need her.)

#8 The Cleveland Brown’s Dwayne Rudd costing his team a victory by illegally throwing his helmet with 0 seconds on the clock. Should this rule really cost a team a game? Hell no! Couldn’t the refs have looked the other way? Please! This rule has got to be changed.

#7 Terrell Owens pulling a pen out his sock, to autograph it and basically show up the defender. There ought to be a rule against this kind of crap.

#6 The NFL Rules Committee revising its rules mid-season to allow you to throw your helmet, but only if you throw it hard enough and straight enough to knock the pen out of Terrell Owens’ hand.

#5 Former Lions coach Marty Morninhweg electing to kickoff in overtime, after winning the toss. Of course, the poor fool didn’t get any credit for correctly calling tails just seconds earlier.

#IV Don Cheadle’s commercials about the playoffs. Without him, commercials would be just commercials. He took 30 seconds, and made it a half-minute. Fans expect more from a commercial named “the playoffs”.

#3 The emergence of Chad Pennington. It’s been four years since the Jets had a pro-bowl quarterback. Actually, four years and counting. Maybe next year Chad. And what’s up with that arm. Hit the weight room dude, and put some zip on those throws. The guy wears size 18 shoes. I always heard that any guy with feet that big would also have a huge gun. Maybe that’s a myth?

#2 The demise of these stupid myths. Bucs can’t win in the cold. Nobody can beat the Pack at Lambeau in the playoffs. Jets can’t win in December. Donovan McNabb is the one guy in the league that his team can’t do without. Football is fixed. John Madden is a good announcer. The Super Bowl should be held at the Mead-d-d-d-d-d ow l-l-l-l-l-lands. Quarterbacks on teams that win the Super Bowl are better than those that don’t. (Okay, I just wanted to talk about Trent Dilfer again)

#1 Trey Junkin coming out of retirement. How come none of the teams tried to claim him off waivers, like they did for neon Deion. Tell me you wouldn’t rather see Deion than Trey? At least I know of 50 Giants who would rather see Deion long-snapping than they would Trey. Of course, they now get to see Trey over and over again in their dreams, or nightmares, as it were.
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Book and Movie Review: "The Boyz -N- the Junction"
December 8, 2002
by Peter Murphy

Long before a featured role in the movie “Forrest Gump” put Alabama head football coach Paul Bryant on the map, and long before winning 6 national championships, Bryant had a four year stint coaching at a Texas cow college known as Texas A&M. He was lured away by A&M from Kentucky following a successful eight-year stint, and after he could no longer put up with the slights the school threw his way in favor of the basketball coach. Imagine they would have had the legendary Adolph Rupp and Bear Bryant. That was an unheard of combination . . . . . to have squandered. It is reminiscent of the NY football Giants, who had Vince Lombardi and Tom Landry, respectively, as their offensive and defensive coordinators back in the late 50s, and hired neither as head coach. Kentucky football hasn’t recovered since. Lombardi coached in 6 NFL championships or Super Bowl’s, and Landry in 7.

The book/film was inspired by events that took place during summer training camp during Bryant’s first year at A&M. The team he inherited was a sorry lot, in his opinion, too soft. He set about whipping them into shape. The team, 111 strong, was bussed to drought-stricken Junction, Texas, about 300 miles from College Station. For 10 days in brutal heat, even more brutal practices were conducted under the impatient eye of coach Bryant. Only 35 players remained at the end of 10 days, the rest had quit the team.

At 40, Bryant was still a physically tough man, and could still whip many a college student. While coaching, he would often lineup across from a player and use his strength and skill to pound them into the dirt. He was given the nickname “Bear” as a young teen, after he volunteered to wrestle a bear for money, and later played football at the University of Alabama. At Junction, the students where afraid of him physically, but also afraid of upsetting him, for he was already a revered figure in college football. What drove him was a belief that toughness and conditioning would yield big dividends, especially in the fourth quarter, when most games are decided. As his legend grew, his “charisma” took on even greater life, and he could be very persuasive through fear, while at the same time seeming quite charming. He was a hard man to say “no” to, and was known to require high-school recruits who accepted scholarship offers from competing colleges to tell him personally that they were turning down his offer. Of course, they couldn’t, and wound up playing for the Bear. And of course, you couldn’t call him Bear to his face, not if you wished to remain in his good graces.

At the time he took over in 1954, the team was the laughingstock of what was then known as the Southwest Conference. With the help of the Junction Boys that were sophomores in ’54, the Aggies won the Southwest Conference in 1956. Unfortunately, they were on probation due to a recruitment scandal involving payments to recruits, which was likely a matter of getting caught rather than any aberrant behavior on the part of Texas A&M’s coaches or alumni. Either way, Bryant left one year after probation ended, to take his final job at Alabama, his alma mama.

The book is an interesting read, and sheds light on various aspects of Bryant, life in Texas, and college football from 50 years ago. Most of these aren’t captured in the film version, which stars Tom Berenger as Bryant. Bryant grew up dirt poor in Arkansas, which gave him the necessary humility to deal with his players, many of the same background, despite having built a successful career. He was also accustomed to dealing with the powers that beed in college football, and several humorous tales of his dealings with alumni are covered in the book.

We also learn of the desperation of many players to remain on the team, as college was not very affordable to the typical Aggie player, who came from hardscrabble lifestyles in rural Texas. As for famous characters, future NFL head coaches Gene Stallings and Jack Pardee are featured, and other names dropped include Jimmy Taylor, Don Meredith, and John David Crow. Surprisingly, in addition to Freshmen ineligibility, we find out that in the 1950s, substitutions were limited in the college football of the 1950s, with some players not permitted back in the game if they left, and that most players were two-way, playing all 60 minutes. A kicker for an extra point, for instance, had to come from the 11-man squad on the field when the touchdown was scored, and two-point conversions were not yet a part of the game. And most curiously, rules prohibited the signaling of plays from the sidelines, even the decision of what to do on fourth down. I won’t reveal the ending, but suffice it to say the Junction Boys is not a tale of repressed memory and revenge. Bryant would later admit that the Junction Boys was his favorite team. He also admitted that if he had a choice between Super Bowl–winning quarterbacks Joe Namath and Trent Dilfer, he’d take Namath.

As for the film, based on the media screening that this reporter attended, the film will be well-received by audiences. While the choice of Berenger was “suspicious” (Don Knotts has much more “southern street-cred”), Berenger’s ability to convey Bryant’s toughness is appreciated. While the movie version doesn’t delve as deeply as the book, it is a well done production (NFL films produced the movie, not ESPN’s movie division, which brought us the laughable “A Season on the Brink”). The sound editing and cinematography are what you’d expect, and the usually pure ESPN has done a good job of over-hyping the project. Look for cameos by James Carville, Kurt Sohn, Rick Hurst, Owen Murphy, and others.

“The Junction Boys”
Book written by Jim Dent, published in1999
Film airing on ESPN.
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NBA Preview: Champions No More
October 30, 2002
by Peter Murphy

The NBA is about to tipoff on another season. 29 teams vying to be the ones to wear the proverbial “Green Jacket” come June. Only it’s not really all 29 teams. Nope, there’s one team that has certainly no chance whatsoever.

No it’s not the Knicks, despite what might seem overwhelming odds. Knick brass, lead by soon-to-be Ex-GM Scott Layden, tells us they are confident that they will be competitive, and maybe make the playoffs. And once you make the playoffs . . . .

No, it’s not the Nets, who proved they aren’t a joke anymore, by stealing Jason Kidd from the Colangelos. They certainly look to compete to be the Beasts of the (L)east. Nor is it the Clippers, who combined with the Lakers for an astonishing 55 Staples Center victories last year.

No, it seems like everyone except one team has a chance to claim the NBA championship belt. I’ll give you a hint:
Fighting a war vs. the USA is certainly more expensive than the cost of one of these?

Give up. It’s the Wizards! Despite their championship pedigree, with Jordan, (NCAA title, 2 Olympic Golds and 6 NBA titles) , assistant coach Pat Ewing (NCAA title, 2 Olympic Golds), Juan Dixon (NCAA title), Christian Laetner, (2 NCAA titles and one Olympic Gold) and Ratko Varda (back-to-back Kosovo Shootout championships), the “everbody beats the” Wizards have no chance whatsoever. Despite these past successes, the Wizards are “champions no more”.

The reason that the Wizards are the only team with absolutely no chance to win, is their coach, one Doug Collins.   See, Doug Collins is . . . . . . .cursed. He’s absolutely cursed. In a former life, he sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees. In a former life, he lead the Bengalis to settle in flood-prone Bangladesh (he waived the 6% commission). In a former life, he talked McClean Stevenson into leaving M*A*S*H. The guy is jinxed, and makes Oliver look like Carmen Electra’s bra. (I don’t know which is worse, the Brady Bunch reference, or the Carmen Electra reference. Okay, since you are enjoying thoughts of Carmen Electra’s guns, I promise, no more Brady Bunch references).

Why is this guy such a loser? Who cares why, let’s just look at the record:
Doug Collins, from a small town in Illinois, seemed to be the golden boy at first, winning a scholarship to Illinois State back in the late 1960s. He was known as a scorer for the Redbirds, hard to defend. Too bad the Redbirds never advanced far enough in the NCAA tournament to give us that dream matchup between him and the defensive specialist of that era, the Crimson Tide’s Johnny Dill.

The highlight of his college days, aside from his being the #1 overall draft pick of the N.B.A. in 1973, was his selection to the U.S. Olympic squad. Yes, he joined the 38-0, 12 straight Gold medal winning U.S. team. He even scored to crucial free throws in the final seconds, giving the U.S. team the Guh-Silver medal.. . . . . .   Yes, while we all know what happened next . . . . . we still don’t know what the hell happened. But, somehow, the Ruskies, as they were known back then, were given a controversial victory. The jinx was born.

His NBA career was distinguished, playing all 8 years with the 76ers. He averaged 18 points per game for his career, and made four All-star teams. He even made the N.B.A. finals with the Sixers, leading them there in 1977. Unfortunately, he had to face Bill Walton and the rest of the Blazers, and of course, jinxy came up on the short end of the stick, losing in six games. Yeah, the 76ers had a tough time during that era, always competitive but frequently squandering chances for glory with the team centered around Collins, Bobby Jones, and Julius Erving, PhD. Finally, the Sixers broke through in 1983, with the help of Moses “Fo-Fo-Fo” Malone, Andrew “Devil” Toney, and eight other guys who are not named Doug Collins.   That’s right, Collins had by that time retired, after a pro-career of championship futility.

Well, there’s always coaching. Ever a student of the game, Collins ended up as a college assistant coach, before moving to the big time, as coach of the Bulls. The Bulls were in transition back then, from the legendary Artis Gilmore-Tom Boerwinkle-Ken Reeves teams, to the Charles Oakley-Scottie Pippen-Michael Jordan era. Collins turned around the franchise, with Michael’s help, and soon, they were contending for Eastern Conference supremacy, to carry the mantle of the never-to-rise-again Celtics dynasty. The only problem was, well, the guy is friggin’ jinxed. Collins got pushed out, and in came Phil Jackson. That’s right, Phil, winner of two NBA titles with the Knicks, and now a whopping 9 NBA titles in 12 years.

Some modest success as coach of the Pistons in the regular season in the late 1990s unfortunately coincided with the Bulls near-dynasty’s 2^nd three-peat.
( sports dynasty: sportz   di nis tee. “A team that wins four or more consecutive championships. Must be four, must be consecutive, no exceptions”).

And if you needed any more convincing, the jinx even passes down to the son. Chris Collins played for Duke from 1992 to 1996. That’s the fall of 1992, some eight months after the Laetner-led Blue Satans won their second consecutive championship. Chris Collins never won a championship while at Duke, but came close in 1994. Too bad he bricked an ill-advised 25 foot trey with about 20 seconds on the shot-clock in the closing minute.

Wonder if dad started humming “And the Cats in the Cradle . . . The Boy was just like me”

Of course, maybe you’re not superstitious, and don’t believe in jinxes. Well if I’m wrong, then the next time someone offers you a bet on who will be this season’s NBA champions, let me know if you have the guts to take the Wizards.

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Major League Baseball Individual Awards
September 30, 2002
by Peter Murphy

I’m about to break on of the cardinal rules of the Baseball Writers Association of America! In this column, I will reveal how I voted in the regular-season awards prior to their public announcement in November. Why am I going to do this? Because my regularly scheduled article about whether the Jets would match the 1972 Dolphins undefeated season is no longer applicable. I’ll file that one away until next year at this time.

NL MVP
Bonds. No doubt, based on his production and his record-breaking on-base percentage. He spent now 2 seasons in the “zone”, and pounced on just about any ball that made it’s way to the strike zone. Honorable mention to Lance Berkman.

AL MVP
Philosophically, I have no problem going with A Rod. Unlike my hypocrite-brethren in the BWAA, who talk about “value” as if you have to win the division and then vote A Rod 2^nd , I value the games best player. Just cause his team sucks, you can’t punish him. His production was so far above the rest of the league. He did his part for his team, and put up great numbers when he could have easily tanked the season like some of his teammates.

Many good candidates on playoff teams this year, such as Tejada, Giambi, Tori Hunter, and Garret Anderson. Soriano? He’s up there too, but sorry, just because you play second base, doesn’t raise you above a more productive first baseman. Why not just let middle-infielders bat from the ladies’ tee. And walks count, so on-base percentage is as key as batting average. Soriano was 6^th among Yankee starters in OBA, below even Ventura, who is showing his age again. Sure Soriano’s a leader on the Yanks, but hits, steals, and runs aren’t everything: He also lead the team in errors, strikeouts, and times caught stealing.

NL Cy Young
Gotta go with the Big Unit. He wins the triple crown, and was dominant. Smoltz had a lot of saves, but Gagne did too, and gave up fewer walks, hits, and runs then Smoltz in roughly the same amount of games and innings. Schilling was on pace for a great season, but evidently couldn’t keep it up the whole year. And I’m not just talking about his pants. Someone get this guy a belt already.

AL Cy Young
If you subscribe to the “Pedro is only Pedro when he’s far ahead of everyone else” theory, then you can ignore his fifth straight year of dominating pitching, and go with Lowe or Zito. Lowe had a no-hitter, and used to be a reliever, but as with MVP, don’t make up phony qualifiers to justify your pick. The nod goes to Zito, who was dominant and unbeatable down the stretch. Didn’t miss a start all year.

NL Rookie of the Year
Ishii over Prior. Both good pitchers, but if there’s one thing that I am, it’s predictable. I ALWAYS vote for people named Kazuhisa. Plus, I have a hard spot for a guy with a hard head.

AL Rookie of the Year
I know he’s not “technically” a rookie, but here I had to go with Ichiro. If it was good enough last year when he wasn’t really a rookie, then it should be good enough for this year.

NL Manager of the Year
Dirty Baker, in a close one over LaRussa and Cox. Baker held the team together despite having two big babies as stars, and finished strong despite pressure from the Dodgers. LaRussa, with his 9^th division title, and Cox, with his record 11^th straight title probably had more overall talent on their teams, but nevertheless exceeded expectations. Valentine gets an honorable mention. Why? Because every time you thought the Mets had sank to new and incredible depths, somehow they always found a way to get “high”.

AL Manager of the Year
Many good candidates, but my first inclination was to go with (surprise) Joe Torre! Just because you have a good roster, doesn’t mean you don’t need a manager. Just ask Pat Riley or Phil Jackson, two guys who are also perennial winning coaches, and who have never been fired, unlike Torre. Hmmm. Maybe Torre is more lucky than good?

And, wait, isn’t this the same guy who said recently “You can’t go wrong with the (starting pitching rotation for the playoffs) decision because we have so much depth. I’ve said you could pick out of a hat and make the right choices.”

And who said, after last year’s “fail-to-come-through-when-your-city-needs-you-the-most” collapse during the world series, said “there was no way I was going to take Mariano out, we were going to win or lose it with him”. So his secret is revealed. I guess it comes down to Howe or Scioscia, no offense to Gardenhire. I give the nod to Scioscia, who came out of nowhere to make the playoffs after a long drought. Plus, he doesn’t have the starting pitching that the A’s do. Howe gets second place, for topping 100 wins again despite the loss of 2001 MVP-runner up Jason Giambi and the loss of the other Giambi, who, incidentally, turned in his uniform without so much as a speck of dirt on the pants. (Slide next time!)

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Major League Baseball Playoffs (Part 1)
September 13, 2002
by Peter Murphy

As the season winds down, most of the division races have been decided, and again, most of the excitement is left for the wild cards. The Braves and Twins, easy runaways all year long, are coasting into the post season. In the case of the Twins, that seemed improbable last November, and even in spring training. The Diamondbacks and Yankees have finally shaken off pesky pretenders, and are in a comfortable position. Even the Cardinals, with a late surge, have assumed their predicted place atop the weak N.L. Central. With the smallest and best-balanced division, we have the only true division race remaining, the A.L. West. With only 20 games left, however, the Mariners’ slump could make even that division’s race for the top devoid of true pressure, if the runner-up is assured of the wild card berth, a nice consolation, and another chance. This would then leave the N.L. wild card race, a rematch of the magical 1951 N.L. pennant race between New York and Brooklyn.

Ah hah!

Maybe the baseball owners, lead by the oft-maligned Bud Selig, did something good for their wallets AND the fans with the advent of the Wild Card berth back in 1995. Year after year, the wild card races provide baseball with exciting September intrigue. Meanwhile, the division winners who have just about clinched are busy resting their players, and setting up their rotations for the first round of the playoffs, when the serious business begins.

But wait! You mean after 5 months of ass-kicking the competition, Chipper Jones, and Bernie Williams haven’t earned the privilege of resting their aging bodies? You mean Bob Brenly can’t give his aching Unit a rest, after going to it over and over again and again since April? (Who does Mrs. Brenly think she is? Madonna?). Well, maybe they can’t, because since about five years ago, the Lords of Baseball, perhaps peaking at other, better-run leagues of U.S. pro sports, came up with the foolhardy idea that divvying up playoff home games on a rotated basis was no good, but that playoff seedings were somehow necessary. They further messed it up by introducing the 1-2-2 format for the first round, the so-called Division Series. (That’s the round you never see if you have a day job.)

There are a few issues here to discuss. Okay, it’s not really a discussion, since that would require feedback, and MurphGuide Sports fans have been a little shy on the feedback thus far. (What’s the matter, Cat got your Mouse).

Anyway.

First: Let the ass-kicking teams get ready and rested. A team like the Yanks or Braves, having swamped division rivals already, should be able to rest and focus on setting up rotations etc. Now, they will rest, but if they lose one to the Orioles, the next game is almost a must win to keep on pace for the best overall record. It shouldn’t be that way.

Second: the 1-2-2 format, whereby one team will host games 1, 4, and 5 of the opening round. This is perhaps the most ludicrous idea. Who thought of this one, the airline industry? In the old days, you either hosted the opener or the closer. This seemed a fair split. Now as then, if the series lasted 3 games, one team would have the extra game and if it lasted 5 games, the other would. This is evidence that MLB has the capacity to be fair. But now, the same team, a team that after 162 games of possibly widely differing levels of difficulty has perhaps 1 more win than its opponent, gets the key games (1 and 5) in their park?

Isn’t a post-season tournament to determine the champion supposed to be fair, not slanted? Isn’t any “advantage” to be given supposed to be out of necessity, not design? Odd number of games, one team must have the extra game, so lets have the order at least somewhat neutral. The regular season should be for qualifying, not for getting an edge. The playoffs should be settled on the field, as fairly as possible. In the NFL, playoff rounds are only one game, so someone has to have the home edge. Not in baseball. In baseball, there are series, so you can be more fair. In the NBA and NHL, the 2-2-1-1-1 format is ridiculously unfair and unnecessary; let’s hope baseball never comes to that. At least in the NBA, for the finals, they realize 2-3-2 format is the fairest.

And lastly, the “better record” seeding process is as unnecessary. What is perhaps most galling about all this is that baseball used to be the one sport where teams, and fans, didn’t even care about “seeding” going into the playoffs. Traditionally, the A.L. and N.L. annually rotated which league would have the middle 3 games of the fall classic. . The World Series itself to this day retains the rotational basis. The same practice was in place for the LCS from 1969 to 1993. It was fair, random, and didn’t seem to cause any problems whatsoever, so why have the messed with DS and LCS now?

Throughout baseball history, unlike the other “home-call” sports such as hockey and basketball, numerous game sevens have gone to the visitors. The teams didn’t worry about it, and the fans didn’t worry about it. Now they do. And getting the extra game is not about economics, since much of the playoff gate is shared with the Commissioner and the Players Association. It’s only one game out of perhaps 90, and doesn’t affect the lucrative TV revenues. The 1957 Braves beat the Yankees, capturing game seven in the Bronx. Was it a shock? Not really, the Braves had a good team, and good pitchers, and won 4 of the 7 games that year. And the following year? In a rematch, the Yankees won game 7 in Milwaukee, the then-home of the Braves. Which team had the better regular season record those years? Who knows, who cares?

Turn back to 1986; it was the N.L. East's turn to host games 1, 2, 6 and 7 if necessary. But, the Tennesse Titans, then known as the Houston Oilers were scheduled to be home on the Sunday during the playoffs, so the Mets and Astros suddenly switched game 4 (actually 3, 4, and 5) to Shea, giving Astros 1, 2 and 6 (and 7 if it would have been necessary). As what often happens in a series that lasts 6, the winner wins 2 of 3 both at home and on the road, and they move on. Maybe you don't recall, cause you were too young, or not in NY or Houston, but neither does anyone young or old in NY or Houston. (Actually, the Mets remember little of the plane trip back from Houston .....hiccup). The reason that the Mets, who outpaced the Astros by more than 10 games that year, didn’t know they were being “screwed”, maybe because . . . . . They weren’t being screwed. They hadn’t been conditioned to think that the seeding was crucial.

Can you imagine this year, suppose the Yanks win 101, and the A's win 100, but the Raiders are hosting an NFL game on the Sunday of game 4? And the league just switches the order of that round, so that games 3, 4, and 5 are in the Bronx. There would be screams of bloody murder. But why? ‘Cause the Yanks mustered one more win over the 6-month regular season, playing against Toronto, Baltimore and Tampa Bay, instead of Anaheim, Texas and Seattle. Suddenly, such a swap would be unfair, and the predicted outcome of the series would be different. And if they lost in 6 or 7 games, would the Yankees dwell on the “switch”? Just play the f----in’ game!

More often than not, the higher seed will be determined probably by who has the easier schedule anyway. What is the future? Someday, teams with the same record, and who split the regular season series, will face each other in the playoffs. What then, a coin flip? Net runs to determine the higher seed? Or worse, will teams be forced to makeup a late-season rain out against an also-ran, just to break a tie with a fellow playoff qualifier. Play an extra game, perhaps on the road, 3,000 miles from your regular season-ender, just to fix seedings? What if that game is rained out? Bring back the pre-set rotating playoff format: e.g., this year, Division Series, Game 1, wild card at NL East division winner, and NL Central at NL West, next year, rotate it, etc.

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College Football
August 23, 2002
by Peter Murphy

RANT OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Well, it’s that time of year again, when the sports world’s attention shifts from the corruption of other sports turns towards the college gridiron, which is so artful in its corruption. I’m talking N-C-A-A, where if you can spell that, you can play. Where boys will be thugs, but it’s okay.

While college hoops tries to sweep the student-athlete myth under the table by showcasing a few 4.0 dukies, the job is much tougher when there are about 100 players on the typical D-1 squad. Factor in the pressure on coaching staffs to win and cow-tow to alumni, this leaves about negative 2 days per week for the coaches to actually raise these kids to be the good little student-athletes the NCAA knowingly and falsely portrays them to be. Forget the violence of the game attracting the rougher side of society, there are just too many athletes looking to be a member of the most respected segment of the campus, the football team. After their high school experience, many are just out for another four years wearing a lettermen’s jacket, and enjoying the numerous privileges such as skipping class and attracting babes. Meanwhile, the typical team has several players in hot water with the law, and many more who haven’t seen the inside of a classroom since Jeri Ryan left Boston Public. So let’s stop the pretense, the players are semi-pro, paid in the form of room and board and tuition, plus a pro-rated share of their recruitment bonus, and any fees received for point shaving. These guys are student-athletes about as much as George O’Leary holds a masters degree.

PURPOSEFUL RANT: THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
And while we’re on the topic of annoying initials, how about BCS, aka, BS. Attacking the BCS method of determining the championship is like Christmas shopping in October . . . . Why not avoid the rush. Cause just as sure as Ohio State will lose to Michigan, we all know that come October, several top teams with one loss will be bitching that they have no shot at the BCS. And my brethren in the media, the whores who actually get paid to write, will be dusting off their copy from last year, and re-printing it.

Talk about a flawed system. When a team can fall from 2^nd to 3^rd in the ranking because the team they stomped in mid-September loses a late season game on a missed extra point, thus reducing their “quality of opponents” score in the mystical BCS computer ranking, then you know you have a problem. It used to be that coaches would excuse their running up of the scores by saying basically, that they figure the writers in the poll are basically idiots that will be aroused by the show of force when the read the score in the Sunday paper. Now, the coaches can just claim that they are piling on the garbage-time TDs, because . . . the computer is an idiot. Well at the very least the BCS reduces the number of idiots needed to f—k everything up.

But far be it for me to just rant unconstructively; I also have the solution. Course it’s not really an original idea, I stole if from the NCAA’s other 50 team sports. How about a tournament? Forget all the Bowl Series (BS) about the student athletes needing time to study, and relax after 5 months of the grind. The end of the football season usually coincides with recess, so finals aren’t an issue. And let’s not forget, the NCAA’s big dance in March is wrapped around mid-terms, but no one seems to mind. (I just had a flashback to 1986, Walter Berry playing a video game in his hotel on a Tuesday, telling of how bored he was waiting for Friday’s 1^st round game. Hey Walter, how about bringing your damn homework next time. Maybe it will give you something to fall back on in the unlikely event that your NBA career doesn’t pan out). Student-athletes are athletes first, so let them play. Haven’t heard of too many players complaining that they’d rather play fewer games. They love this shit, why do you think Rudy of “Rudy” fame suffered through four years of hell, just to be a part of the team. He did it for the love of the game. (And did his parents, the Reuttigers, really refer to him as “Rudy”. If so, what did they call their other 5 children, or is that where George Forman got the idea?).

Back to the solution. Eight teams, 7 games in December and January, single elimination. Neutral sites, use the existing bowls if you need to shut them up. Again, this idea isn’t completely new, but it’s probably inevitable. But lets steal a page from the NCAA hoops tourney: The automatic bid. Let’s face it, there are about 6, maybe 7 conferences that ever have a team or teams with a shot at the title. The Pac 10, the Big 11 (formerly know as the Big 10), the Big 12, the SEC of course, and generously throw in the ACC and the Big East. Have these 6 conferences establish a representative or champion at their discretion, as they always have, and send them to the final 8. Save two spots for wild cards, which could be your BYUs, Fresno State’s or some other worthy wild card, e.g., a runner up of one of the other six conferences. And so as to reward emerging conferences, have some formula test that could displace one of the original six conferences, based on a trend of dismal performance. With the wild card format, you probably won’t be excluding some fluke hard-luck team, and the wild cards could even be the two highest ranked (writer’s poll) teams that didn’t win a conference.

Now as to the fairness, no team not in the final 8 has a legit shot at the championship anyway. Remember, the purpose of the season is generally to determine a champion. You were 2^nd in your conference, and were snubbed for a wild card berth? Too damn bad! You lost your claim to national supremacy when you failed to demonstrate regional supremacy. What if you were an undefeated lousy-conference winner, and failed to gain a berth? Do you think you would have been better off under the BCS or traditional 5-major bowl setup. Sit down son, next time play some tougher non-conference opponents. Or at least change your school’s name to something that sounds a little more “French”.

Now that the crying has stopped, lets get down to business. 1^st round, four games, held on the weekend right before Christmas. Use some of the middle-tier bowl sites for these games. 2^nd round, New Year’s day, 2 games, using two of the major bowls, again neutral sites. This will leave just two of the eight playoff teams. These 2 square off in a major bowl held during the bye week in the NFL schedule. This will allow for some build up of Pomp, Circumstance and the other guy, and will focus the nation’s attention. The two survivors will undoubtedly be elite teams on a roll, playing well when it matters. This is how it should be. Decide it on the field. For the inaugural match up, the teams can get together at midfield and smash a BCS computer to smithereens with their helmets. Maybe they can then throw a bunch of computers together in a bin, and blow them up to chants of “Disco Sucks!, Disco Sucks!”

Now for the twist. The winner of this third round game. . . . . . . . . . . . . . plays Notre Dame for the championship on St. Patrick’s Day.

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Baseball's Labor Woes
August 8, 2002
by Peter Murphy

Or is it, Labor-Management woes? Something tells me that if it there were no players, you would still have management woes. This gang could be among the most bungling group of poor businessmen the world has ever seen . . . . among billionaires who have been extremely successful in other business ventures. Do we need more evidence after the Expos, a team run by the commissioner’s office, not only makes more trades than any other contending team, but gets accused of favoring some teams in their trades? I rest my case. Yes, we could all easily do a much better job of running this business than these fools . . . . . . if we only had the billion it takes to get in their position.

For 30 years now, it seems like whatever they do, they do it wrong. After losing 8 strikes, they seemed to finally, under Bud Selig’s leadership, show a united front strong enough to match the player’s unity . . . . unless of course you try to cheat Nelson Doubleday. After years of complaining about financial ruin from the escalation of salaries, where the uncompetitive balance was finally showing some staying power, and contraction was a real possibility, you may have even started to believe the owner’s rant. Accusations of accounting gimmickery, and manufacturing of losses are not new, but this time, it was one of their own. A veteran of about five of the eight strikes, Nelson Doubleday now claims that Selig et al were trying to cheat him and suppress team income, and therefore team values, just to gain an upper hand in the negotiations. Doubleday!!! A fellow owner!!!

So it’s true! This revelation couldn’t have come at a worse time, just as the players are getting ready to set a strike date. It was starting to feel like the public pressure would finally get to the players, and keep them from striking, which is their best negotiating weapon. Now, with the Doubleday charge making a mockery out of the owners, combined with the p.r. coup by the players of consenting to some form of random drug testing in 2003, perhaps the owner’s perceived edge is evaporating.

The players, 8-0, however are not invincible. Sure, their opponent is a cartel run by a fool, commissioner-slash-owner Selig, but there is two big difference now versus the 1994-1995 debacle. First, Goose Gossage is not around. Goose is the only player to be on a major league roster for all 8 of the previous strikes. Could the big fat goose have been the difference? Maybe the first seven strikes, but not the eighth. As with the 1994-1995 melee, the players currently fear (Fehr) that if they don’t strike, the owners will declare an impasse, and unilaterally implement their own system, which of course would include revenue sharing and a substantial luxury tax. However, this time, the players may not be able to rely on a determination by the National Labor Relations Board that the owners have bargained in bad faith, which weakens the owners "impasse" case. Remember, the last strike occurred when there was a labor-friendly administration in the White House (and the Dow was at 8,000, but trending upward). The current administration, run by a former owner, may be less inclined to file suit against the owners. That’s what makes the Doubleday defection so critical. It could be evidence of bad faith on the part of the owners.

The players may be greedy, but they don’t really say enough publicly to have no credibility, like their bad-faith, colluding , Pete Rose-banning, DH loving, Twin-contracting, All-Star game suspending counterparts. All the owners have is their lack of credibility. All I know is that if they go on strike this time, they will lose the fans for good, just like in 1972, 1976, 1981, 1985 and 1994, etc, etc.

WILD CARD CHASES HEATING UP

The AL central, NL West, and NL East races are over, and the Yankees appear comfortably ahead of the sputtering Bosox. That leaves the wild card hunt, with 3 AL teams and about 6-8 NL teams vying for their respective league’s wild card slot. The consolation berth has been in place since 1995, and seems to be a fair way to reward the best of the second place finishers. However, what’s becoming clear is that a wild card chase ain’t the same as a pennant chase, for one simple reason. Pennant races usually involved the elite teams. Wild card races seem to involve the 2^nd tier teams, and some mediocre teams as well. I recall the 1978 and 1980 AL East races, where it seemed the contenders were the class of the league, and August and September was filled with win after win, matched by whichever team had the later start that night. Only in the head to head matchups would you expect to see divergent results. The same occurred throughout the mid-1980s in the NL East, where the Mets and Cardinals usually battled for the top slot, and the loser would only be assured of watching one or maybe 2 other teams survive that would have finished in third in the NL East. A glimpse at a recent week in the NL wild card race shows the drama of your average game of hot potato. There’s a reason that these teams aren’t at the top of their divisions, it’s called talent. And what we get is teams that seem good when they are winning, but all too often, their play reminds you of why their about 10 games off the lead. Fans of these teams are tugged back and forth, between joy and misery, in a way that just didn’t happen back when the pennant races would be decided by teams winning in the high 90s if not over 100 games. Now, looks like low 90s or even high 80s will get you in the playoffs.

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Mid-year Musings
July 22, 2002
by Peter Murphy

TED WILLIAMS
Back when I was in grade school, I tried to get my hand on every baseball biography book out there. At the time, the legends were guys like Aaron, Mays, Musial, Feller, Cobb, Cy Young, and a bunch of Yankees from various eras. I devoured the books I could find about each of them. Ted Williams, of course, was among this select group. However, living in New York, I didn’t get exposed to the Williams catechism like my sports fan brethren to the north (never a fan of the phrase "New England"). I attended college in Da Bronx, yet by some quirk, 4 of the 6 members of my dorm-suite were from the beantown area. From them, I learned that Ted Williams was the greatest "hitter" ever. Not all-around player, that would be Dimaggio (if you’re old or believe the hype), or Mays. I also was able to resist their teachings on the mystical powers of Larry Bird ("he could win the MVP shooting left-handed), and Doug Flutie ("he could play 2^nd base for the Mets"), and Andre Tippet ("L.T. in a small market").

Williams was unfairly compared to Joe Dimaggio throughout their post-retirement years, with the usual "championship" argument thrown around just to give Dimaggio the nod. No offense, Yankee fans, but how many World Series would the Yankees have won if they had Williams instead of Dimaggio. Probably about the same, given that Dimaggio played with about eight other Hall of Famers. And I’m sorry, a hitting streak does not top .406 season-long batting average. That’s one MVP Williams was screwed out of, only to be topped the following year by the Triple Crown winning season that yielded a runner-up MVP. But Joe Gordon played some really great 2^nd base that year. Adding a repeat Triple Crown in 1947, and a repeat as runner-up MVP, you get the idea that Williams was unappreciated in his day by the media bias. Perhaps, in a nod to the Bosox, Mo Vaughan stole an MVP award back in 1995, over the much more detested Albert "Joey" Belle, who never met a reporter he would ever like.

Perhaps most remarkable in the Dimaggio-Williams discussion was the war record. Some have said the Dimaggio was legitimately 4-F (physically unqualified) due to leg injuries, yet due to his stature could not be seen as being favored. So he missed out on a draft exemption . . . so he could play baseball in the army, never see combat, and demand to be transferred to a Newark base so he could be near his home. Meanwhile, Williams, as we all know, excelled as a fighter pilot, missed almost five seasons of prime time, and still amassed 521 Home Runs, which put him in the top 3 at the time of his retirement.

Who was better, Williams or Dimaggio? Perhaps we’ll never know, they both played in ball parks that somewhat limited their still high output. During Dimaggio’s final years, he used to insist that whenever he was offially introduced at a baseball function, he insisted that the introduction include the phrase "the greatest living ballplayer". Perhaps at last, Williams can finally top that. Thanks to the wackiness of his son, Williams, without a doubt, without argument, and without debate, is the greatest deceased ballplayer, who is also alive (sort of).

ALAN IVERSON
It used to be that when you thought of Alan Iverson, you would think of three things: Unbelievable achievement for his size, troubled past, and his me-first attitude. Now, the three things that roll off the tongue?

Alan? Alan? Alan?

What were you thinking? Have you ever heard of restraint? How about just letting your uncle go find her. Rich guys aren’t supposed to do their own dirty work. Didn’t you ever see the Godfather? (Please see to Climaxes in Godfather, Godfather 2, and Godfather 3). Do you think Bill Clinton actually pulled the trigger in the Vince Foster slaying? Money can’t buy you common sense, evidently. I suppose the 76ers realize now that the 2001 NBA finals was probably the high watermark for this team with this guy, and could reward a soon-to-be retired Larry Brown with a soft landing. There has to be at least one of the other 29 teams out there stupid enough to take on this troubled star. Just lets hope it’s not outgoing Knicks G.M. Scott Layden.

ALL STAR GAME
No big whoop. I happened to catch the game from California, so I didn’t realize it at the time how late in the East and Central time zones the game had run when they called it off. I was shocked to see the grilling of the managers and the commissioner by the press as if it wasn’t obvious that the game couldn’t go on. I guess in hindsight they wish that when they had conferred about stopping the game in the middle of the eleventh they instead discussed how Mariner pitcher Freddie Garcia just groove one in the bottom of the 11^th. The headline would have talked about Johnny Callison-like heroics, recalling his 1964 Walk-off homer. Of course, back then, Pat Riley had yet to invent the term "Walk-off homer", and the whole walk-off industry (Walk-off single, double, triple, and of course everyone’s favorite, Walk-off Catcher’s Interference). Before the game, you half suspected that the managers, who favored their own players (Robin Ventura over Jim Thome?), would try to over-use rival pitchers, such as Derek Lowe, and Uggy Urbina? If they did, you would have heard screams of bloody murder. So maybe give them credit for sparing some arms, as well as for letting all the guys play.

NY PENNANT FEVER

Mets
They’ve assembled a team to compete this year, but they were sluggish and the Braves are incredibly hot. There’s still the wild card. Mets seem to think that they have to either compete with the crosstown rivals, or, remain competitive in the few good years that their stud, Piazza, has left at a high level of production. If you just focus on the latter reason, then the Mets should continue the fight in 2002, and not cave in and trade starters. Everyone assumes that if you trade a high priced player now to a contender that you will get a 2005 all-star in return. Doesn’t that presume that the team you trade with has good prospects, and that you can identify them. Otherwise, you may as well go with what you got. Last year, Mets made a late September run after hovering around 10 games below .500 for most the season. Granted, the NL East was weak in 2001, but this year, the wild-card race could prove doable, given that the 3 western division teams may cannibalize each other with inter-division play. The Mets are hitting well now, so don’t give up. In recent years, teams like the White Sox, Indians, Marlins, and Padres have dumped players. How do they expect fans to come out when the teams themselves admit that they are surrendering. Don’t be